The Greatest thing
by Flowing lantern
Summary: Stefan Salvatore is a social-awkward rude boy who does everything in his power to remain an outsider. He doesn't have friends and he definitely doesn't believe in love until one morning when he goes to basketball practice he meets a girl who's going to change his mind. Will he let her in?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! So this is something I came up with a few days ago and I wondered a lot before posting it since I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with the whole thing. I plan to make it short, like a few chapters. I would really appreciate your reviews and opinions on it, cause I'm not sure if I should even continue. This first chapter is a bit short since it's kind of a prologue more than an actual chapter. Anyway, hope you enjoy it. ((: **

**Stefan's POV**

I entered our small house which only light comes from the kitchen window and hurry to toss my sneakers somewhere in the corner of the narrow hallway leading to the messy living room. I'm late, God, too late and mom and Damon would probably be asleep by now, but I just couldn't stop practicing and before I knew it, it was already 10 in the evening. It took me more than an hour to get to our stinky little neighborhood since the buses were very irregular and my brother has taken the truck with him to work today. As usually, actually, I don't remember him letting me drive this thing alone for months, he was such an ass when it came to that old stupid crappy truck, but he was protecting it as if it was the most expensive thing we would ever own. Ok, on second thoughts, it could be actually the most valuable thing we have..except for the house.

"Stefan" my brother granted me a light smile as he surprisingly went out of the living room and and joined me in the hallway. He has put one of those faded black t-shirts again, which matched his dark hair and his whole usual mood actually. He loved wearing black stuff, I doubt that he had a cloth with a different color. I guess he was about to go out with his co-workers again "Come on, mum is pissed you weren't home for dinner." he said while desperately trying to find his jacket in the mess of sweaters and coats before us.

"You going out?" I ask casually, trying to avoid him asking about the real reason why I was so late.

"Oh yeah. You bet I am, I worked my ass out today." he finally got the jacket out and turned towards the mirror while putting it on. "How was school?"

"Oh, please don't start." I respond pretty annoyed as I finally put my own jacket down and stretch to get it on the hanger. He prevents me, though because he manages to notice the bruises on my knuckles and tightens his grip around my wrist angrily. For a moment we stare at each other without either of us letting a single word out. I notice that his eyes are bloody and there are big dark circles around them which makes me furrow my eyebrows even more.

"Please tell me that you haven't been fighting again?" he whispers through his teeth, afraid that mother would hear us talk. I pulled myself away and tried to turn away, but this time he put his hand on my shoulder and once again we stood against one another. "Goddamit Stefan, you have to stop doing this."

"I just fell at basketball practice today" I mumble while avoiding his look.

"Yeah, right. Try to find a better excuse in front of mom, cause she'll be pissed off."

"I'll be pissed off about what?" our mother came out of the living room. Her tired, sad smile always present on her face. She never fails to give it to me, even when she's angry that I'm late for dinner, as usually. I pull myself away from Damon again and try to hide my hands.

"Nothing." I respond vaguely and try to change the subject, but I'm not sure she believes me because she looks up towards my brother, who for my sake, avoids her glance "What's there for dinner?"

"Almost nothing cause your brother ate half of the stuff in the fridge" she said with her typical judgy voice, which makes my brother hurry up and put his shoes on so he could finally disappear from the house "Come on" she tries to smooth my messy hair to the right, which she loved doing to both Damon and me when we were kids. I always waited for her to finish and then shook my head around so it can get back to its initial position. We heard Damon tossing the door and I let a big sigh out. I sincerely hoped that he won't get drunk tonight like he did last week when I had to go to the bar and drag him back home.

He didn't use to drink so much, but something inside him just broke this year. Maybe it was due to the fact that he got fired a couple of times and it was hard for him to find a job. Or maybe it was just because that's who he was-he always liked to party, get drunk, even leave for a few days without telling us and mom usually got out of her mind while he kept repeating that he's a grown man in his twenties and he knows what he's doing. But we worried, we always did, he was a stubborn one. And lately he was scaring me. I knew he scared mom as well, but she tried to never show it.

I got inside the kitchen and tossed my bag on the shabby couch where Damon and I usually watched sports. There was a big hole on my right sock but above all my feet stank like hell so mother started scolding me that I should always wash first. I was just beyond hungry, though and couldn't wait to put something in my mouth so I turned my back on her and ate whatever I could find out in the fridge on the kitchen plot. I didn't want to sit down on the table, cause she would notice my hands just like my brother did and I knew she was tired like hell and that we would start fighting again about how I am the most selfish bastard to exist who just doesn't give a shit what he's doing with his life and so on and so on and I just had no power for that now. I've spent the whole day in school, then I had a long basketball practice with the shitiest coach on earth, who had no idea what he was doing and then I had to stay and wait for the cheerleaders to finish their stupid practice so I could continue playing by myself. Honestly- playing basketball was the only thing I had any desire to do. As a whole I was a social-awkward loner without any friends, playing in the worst team in the school who hasn't won a single game since the beginning of the school year. On top of that, I was failing whichever class we had and I was on the verge of hitting rock bottom pretty soon unless I started doing something about it.

My mom had no idea about that of course-she knew I wasn't the perfect student and that the only thing I cared about was play, but she probably hoped that at least one of her sons will go to college instead of filling another place in the working-class society. I think she would probably remain disappointed in both of us. Even if that's not at all what I would want.

My mother-she is a good woman, she has taken care of us all our life, since father has died when both Damon and me were pretty young. She was patient and strong and she worked a lot so we could be fine all those years. Now Damon and me were trying to pay her back for everything that she has ever done for us. She often fought with us, because we had the tendency to lose our path on numerous occasions. As every mother she had her hopes and dreams about both of us. She really wanted Damon to find his soul mate and start a family, but my brother was a reckless person who only enjoyed one-night stands and honestly, I couldn't really imagine him with a wife and a family of his own, but who knows…maybe one day he would get there. I wouldn't be more happy if it happens. For me…oh well, I really think she would want me to get a scholarship and go to college. I had the tendency to disappoint her and even though she never really showed it, I knew I had done it. Once I got in high school everything with me just turned upside down, for many unknown to me reasons- I stopped studying, I stopped going out that much, I fought a lot and a few times she was just beyond pissed off with me, because they expelled me and oh well..let's say I completely hit whatever bottom there was, just like I was about to do now again. She was pretty angry with me for quite some time and so I called my uncle Zach in Boston and asked him to take me to Boston for the summer so I could work with him. My brother went to work away as well and we left her here completely alone, which as I now realize was pretty stupid. I just couldn't bear watching her feel all bad because of me. I saw her struggling with both mine and my brother's behavior so I thought it would be just better if I get out of her sight and stop disappointing her, for the summer at least.

"How's school?" she asked and I turned around with my mouth full. She was sewing something again while she stared at one of her favorite shows on the TV again. I realized that she looked pretty tired as well. She has always been like that, but lately something wasn't exactly right, though I couldn't pinpoint what it was. I often heard her wake up at nigh, coming here to the kitchen, watching whatever was on, because she couldn't sleep, which only made me guilty…because I believed that me and Damon were the reason for it. She was the quiet observant of us ruining our lives.

"Shitty." I finally answered after I've realized that it took me some time to respond

"Stefan!" she furrowed her eyebrows again and shook her head. "When is the game?"

"Friday." I responded and went to the sink so I could wash my hands. My whole body hurt from running up and down that stupid old gym the whole day. But it was a nice kind of pain, it meant that I was doing at least one thing right. "But you shouldn't come, you are nightshift."

"I'm not missing your game." she stood up and came closer so she would help me with clean the plates, though I never wanted her to do so.

"It's fine, mom, we'll probably just lose like we do every time. "

"You won't. You've been training too much lately and I need that to finally start paying off because I haven't really seen my son properly in weeks." I let a deep sigh out. That's kind of true, I avoided coming home early home at all costs. "You fine, Stefan?" she asks as she puts her hands on my shoulder, just like my brother did not long ago.

"Yeah, mom, I'm great." I smile to assure her and move away so she could let me go. I don't want her to treat me like a child, not right now. I had this problem with people, that whenever they got too close to me I just pulled away. Always. That was like my rule. I never opened to anyone, I didn't want to, sometimes I was even rude on purpose so I could scare people away. I didn't need anyone, I was all fine by myself. And my mother? She was nice and she was probably the only thing in my life that mattered right now, but I wasn't a kid anymore. "I'm just tired" I add and turn my back to her, with which I wanted to tell her that I'm heading to bed.

She didn't miss her opportunity to remind me to shower first and I unwillingly headed to the bathroom. I was beyond tired and I knew I would just get up early tomorrow to get to the gym before anyone has the opportunity to take it. I loved playing on my own, in the silent empty place. I think to some extend it represented my own life-this whole empty space that wasn't going anywhere, a space that wasn't about to change in any way. Just a gym that no one will care enough to fix or make better. An old as my soul place full of dust that filled my lungs. A place that held both the past, the present and the future and they were as empty as I ever will be.

A lonely place, I thought to myself as I finally hit the bed and my wet hair stuck on the pillow.

A lonely one.

**Elena's POV**

It was six in the morning and the basketball gym was the emptiest place I've ever seen. It was even a little scary as I now think about it, but then again, I'm scared of a lot of things that represent the persistent stubbornness of people to not change anything around them.

I wasn't like that. I liked to move forward, to keep going in every way possible. I was the best student in the school, I had friends, I had my awesome family. I should be glad and satisfied of life. And I honestly would be if I wasn't failing me P.E class. Which leads me to the reason why I'm here so early and why I was definitely alone. Not that there wasn't anyone to ask for help-my friend Matt, who I guess was also a bit into me, would love to give me a hand and that was the reason why I didn't want him to-he was just too helpful and polite. That's the best way a boy could be actually, but for some unknown to me reason it only pissed me off-he was just too perfect that it didn't seem real. Not that I was anything else-I was probably an absolute female copy of him. With the exception that he was in the football team and he was a perfect athlete while I was a complete walking talking disaster who couldn't even throw a ball. I had such a hard time running let alone trying to aim at something and now what? I was suddenly failing? When did this come from? There's no possible way I'm going to fail something. I am Elena Gilbert-I never fail. In anything!

I notice that there are a few balls piled up in the right corner near one of the exits and I sheepishly lean down to take one of them. Even that small effort causes a light pain in my back. Ok-I guess I really am studying quite too much. My brother spent the other evening laughing at my inability to reach the top cupboard where my mother kept the wine glasses and now I guess…he had a point. How am I going to throw this thing? I take a few steps towards the basket, as close as I can actually-and try to push every muscle I have in the single effort to at least touch the ring of this stupid basket.

Before the ball could even fall down and make its usual thud I make a slight scared jump as I hear someone opening the other doors and silently curse. God, why? There wasn't supposed to be anyone here? Who has got up so early anyway?

I make the mistake to turn around. Why? What pushed me to? The only thing that I craved to do ever since I got in this gym was to fucking get out of it two minutes later.

I let a deep sigh out as I realize who the person is-ok, it's not that bad. I think it was one of the boys from the basketball team, but I'm not sure who exactly. As he enters he stops abruptly, obviously quite surprised that there was another human being here so early, let alone-a girl. For a moment he stares at me very uncomfortably, but then he obviously finds the courage he needs and dares the come closer to me.

"What on earth are you doing here?" he asks, surprise evident in his voice "The gym is reserved for training in the morning."

"Oh yeah?" for unknown to myself reasons I suddenly felt bold. Maybe it's because of the way he's dressed-he's put an old white shirt with shabby sleeves on and some faded blue shorts with the number 7 on the side, his left trainer has a hole on the place where the thumb is and his hair is beyond messy, which somehow suits him as I now dare to make this realization. He has big dark circles under his eyes, but that doesn't make him look weak at all-on the contrary, his whole facial expression is somehow determined. I wonder if it's like that only here, in the gym, because I've seen him in class and usually-he slept through most of it. If I remember correctly-he's failing everything. I doubt he'll make it to the end of the year. I remember Caroline-my best friend, telling me something about how he has a very hot big brother, but besides that-I had no idea who he was. I've seen him in the school hallways, but alone-always alone. I'm not sure he had friends, I don't think he seemed like a person who wants friends in the first place. And with that look-he's definitely not getting any. "I didn't know that."

God…what was his name?

"Well now you do." he says through teeth as if he's trying to scare me away. But I'm not a person to get easily rid off. He's just not smart to know that.

"Well good. I'm still staying, I need to practice."

"No way. I have to train here. I don't need some skinny girls tripping all over the place." ok, he's rude.

"I'm not skinny!"

"Oh yeah? You can't even throw the ball right! Who on earth gave you that one? You can break a bone or something and I'm not joking around here." he was though, because his voice was very sarcastic. He was still trying to send me off.

"You're an ass" I spit out and he shrugs playfully.

"So I've been told. Now would you please leave so I could start."

"No way! I haven't got up so early and come here only to leave after ten minutes of doing nothing." he stared at me for quite some time, trying to figure out what to do with me. Obviously I was the first one who he had problems getting rid of. I stubbornly stared as well, I wanted to make myself clear-I'm not a girl who can be easily told what she should do. I might be silent, skinny and practically a nerd, but he couldn't treat me like that. He avoided my look for a moment, then turned abruptly around and fooled around with his ball, obviously trying to figure out what to do with me. Then he looked back up and I saw him struggling with the decision he should make-he was obviously pretty stubborn as well and having a girl in the only place where he could be completely alone made him nervous so I tried to make it easier, for the sake of both of us. "I'll just stay at this part of the playground if that's ok with you? I won't take long anyway." I changed the tone of my voice and smiled at him. His expression suddenly changed as well, though only for a short moment, and his face became somehow lighter, even though he hurried to hide it behind his stern look. God, this boy was the most stubborn human being I've ever met. I cursed myself again for my inability to remember what his name was. I think we had Math together…maybe?

"Fine…I'll be there" he added, still quite confused and maybe even surprised by himself and the fact that he was going to let a girl tell him what to do here. He walked away from me to the other basket and started warming up. All the time I tried to concentrate and do my own thing, but I kept throwing glances in his direction and I definitely took longer than I expected, because when the first bell ran we were still both where we were in the beginning-each of us in their own part. He never moved anywhere near me, as if I was going to do something to him even with my presence here. I think that at some point he completely forgot about my presence, because at the end I just stopped at sat down on the floor, pretending to be fixing my shoelace when I was actually staring at him and what he was doing. He was just so consumed by what his game that it was honestly quite beautiful to observe. I hated sports and anything related to it, but he seemed like he's not just playing or fooling around-it was like he was living it, every single move-every step, every throw-it was interesting to watch. For the first time I didn't think that basketball was complete and total bullshit.

I wonder how I never really noticed him before. Was he really that invisible? Ok, he's a little messy and his attitude is questionable, but I don't think he's bad. No one who can play so innocently and with such enthusiasm can be bad, right?

And still…what on earth was his name?


	2. Chapter 2

**Elena's POV**

The whole house is quite. I am again the one to wake up first and it takes me less than a few minutes to get out of bed. I'm just like that- most people, they like to prolong things-I don't. The faster you get over with something, the better, then you can move to the next one and the next one and get all your work done, while the rest of them are still wondering how they should do it. I don't know when I became like this-when I was little, I used to enjoy everything, I was never in any rush to get over with a certain moment-I enjoyed it all. I used to love every little thing that surrounded me. Actually, as I think about it now-I was probably really living my life, something that I'm not sure I know how to do anymore.

I had everything in life I could ask for and yet I felt lonely and distant from it all. It was like I wasn't an acting participant in the stuff happening around me. Nothing actually felt real, nothing was worth remembering. Even going out with my friends seemed shallow and stupid and I made the conclusion that I was only doing it because I have to, not because I really want to. Their company was nice-they were all good and joyful people and I really tried to smile and talk to them they way they did with me, but when it came to the moment we would have to separate I always let a deep relieved sigh out-clearly happy that I was on my own. I couldn't understand why it was like that-I was surrounded by people, moreover-people who loved me and accepted me for who I was, even if that was a nerdish girl with big glasses, who enjoyed spending time in the library. I guess that if it wasn't for Caroline everyone would just mock and make fun of me, not that it doesn't happen now from time to time as well, but with her…well let's just say that no one is eager to mess up with the school's queen bee.

I honestly have no idea what it was about me that made Caroline stick with her childish choices-when we were kids we were inseparable. Now..well now she thought that nothing has changed at all, but for me it has. We were together, but then again-we weren't. She lived in a whole different world from mine-she liked to party, to go out with boys, to do millions of stuff for the students committee, to organize events while I preferred to stay at home, read my books and drink my tea in silence. I liked to think about stuff, to observe them. Yeah, I know that I was rushing through everything in life, but that didn't prevent me from actually paying attention to everything that was surrounding me-I liked to observe people and their little habits and try to think about who they were, what their lives were like-all stuff like that.

There were still two people I couldn't figure out completely though-one was Caroline and the reason why she held on me so tight? Maybe it was, because I helped her with all the school stuff-the homework, the assignments? I know it was a very selfish reason to point out and I felt bad for even thinking like this but still..I somehow couldn't get it out of my mind no matter how hard I tried. Once this argument appeared in my head, I couldn't help but notice all the small details in her behavior that hinted me to that direction. I tried pushing those thoughts away though-mainly because she was my only friend and I owed her big time. If she wasn't bend on walking with me through the hallways I would've been the most bullied girl in the school. Ok, it's true that when we actually walked together I was on the bottom of the queue of cheerleaders and worshipers following her everywhere, but then again, like before-let's not dig too deep into the matter.

The other person was the boy I met at the gym yesterday. There was just something about him that seemed so vague and it was like he was trying to make himself as more invisible as possible. He wasn't like the rest of the people in the school who were shallow and easy to read-there was more about him, something that confused me and left me asking myself what was wrong with him? And with me actually…since I never really paid attention to boys. Why was I doing so now?

I silently cursed myself as I was brushing my hair-I forgot to ask Caroline about him. She knows everyone in this school-she would surely tell me what his name was. I wasn't eager to ask her because she would make the wrong conclusions and she would definitely start nagging about how I'm always noticing all the wrong boys who weren't even cute and stuff like that so I was definitely trying to avoid the subject, but something inside me just kept bothering me. Why on earth did I need to know? He was just some idiot, who was rude and probably stupid-since he failed everything.

I kept pushing the thought about him all morning so when I finally went down the kitchen to make some coffee I was surprised to see my parents already there-ok I was definitely loosing track of time and it even seemed like I was going to be a little late. My mom threw me a surprised glance and my dad asked if I was sick-my sweet father, he was always so concerned about me. I can't blame him-he was a doctor after all and he noticed all the tiny details in people's health or behavior, but sometimes he really worried more than my mother and that was getting on my nerves. I was a patient girl though and I never opposed him-after all I was trying to do everything the way I was supposed to, I wanted to be perfect-for both of them and maybe deep down I also tried to compensate for my brother's Jeremy inability to be serious about school and life as I was.

Currently he was trying to become popular, like the rest of the bigger boys in school and ever since he joined the basketball team, he went to all the parties Tyler Lockwood organized in desperate believe that he will somehow catch their attention and they'll let him be part of his inner circle. I saw that as a pure act of stupidity-but then again he was a boy and he wanted to fit in and unlike me-he didn't have a friend to help him out. He saw this as a fight, a competition that he just has to win so that he wouldn't be left out and I honestly felt sorry for him-I don't think he even liked football.

Before dad dropped me and Jeremy in front of school he asked me a thousand questions, trying to figure out whether or not I was really ready for our Biology exam today. He was really desperate in making me like the subject, because he wanted me to become a doctor-just like him. The only problem was that he didn't knew I had no such intentions and that I actually hated the thought of it-God, I get sick when I see my own blood.

But he was just bend on trying to make me like it. He took me with himself to the hospital so many times when I was little and even let me play with some of his stuff, which as a kid-I found amusing and that let to him getting the wrong impression. But I didn't dare speak up and tell him the truth-he had a good soul and he was always so worried about me and Jeremy and who wanted the best for us. He was a good man-the problem was that he owned my dreams.

Once I realized he was bend on making me his female copy I decided that the least I could do is not disappoint him so I started studying, reading extra stuff, signing up for extra classes and that made him feel great while I was suffering with my inability to speak up for myself and tell him the truth. With time I just accepted that my future is already written and I stood up late at night thinking about how I will look in ten or twenty years and it honestly terrified me.

I jumped off the car relieved to get rid of all those questions he had for me-sometimes I found it hard to breath. Sometimes..all I wished for was to get out of here, to just disappear and start somewhere else-in a new school, with people I had no idea about and definitely without my father breathing in my neck and reminding me how I should read this book or that one.

And yet I didn't even make a single step on my own.

I spent the day wrapped in my thoughts. I think for the first time in a long period I didn't let the teacher's words sink in. I definitely wasn't listening to what Caroline was saying either and I'm not even sure I remember what we had for lunch in the cafeteria. At some point the only realization I made was that we had Math today and the boy with the sandy messy hair wasn't there.

"Elena! Are you even listening to me?" I heard Caroline raising her voice in the middle of the hallway.

"Yeah, yeah I am" I nodded a few times in order to assure her that I was indeed paying attention to her.

"So you're going to wait with me right? We won't take long I promise."

"Wait …where?" I asked confused and she let a deep annoyed sigh out.

"For me to finish practice with the cheerleaders, yeah? I told you this morning."

"Oh..well ok, I will wait." she smiled and clapped her hands happily. That's the thing about Caroline- she get excited easily-the smallest things make her feel good. I keep wondering how a person could be like that? Or more like-why wasn't I like that?

After we're done with our last class, I make the realization that she's taking me to the basketball gym and I for a moment I stop abruptly a little before we enter the place, praying silently for him not to be inside.

But of course-he's there. And as soon as he sees the cheerleaders in their brand new colorful uniforms he furrows his eyebrows angrily and heads to the seats while bouncing the ball on his way there.

I unwillingly make my way there as well and sit down relatively far away from him, but he's a ball of energy that just doesn't sit down for a single minute so he stands up and fools around with the ball every now and then. I open up my Math stuff and start dealing with the homework, but stuff are just not going the way I want them to be and I mess up the whole thing. For a moment I realize that I've even stopped paying attention to him until I finally made the realization that someone's sitting a few seats behind me and nervously shakes his feet which makes the whole row shake as well and my back is actually trembling from his absurd impatience. God, this boy was annoying.

"Will you please stop?" I turn around angrily and he looks at me quite stunned from the fact that I was actually starting a conversation with him. He suddenly stops but throws me an angry look as well then he looks down to the ball in his feet and takes it in his hands. I notice that there are bruises on his knuckles-great, so he was also picking up fights.

I turn back and stick my nose to the books, but I can't seem to find the solution so I just keep scratching every single line I write.

"Just use the formula from the previous lesson." he lets out clearly very annoyed and I turn around to face him, but instead he gets up and moves down the latter.

"What? But-"

"Yeah, it makes no scene, but it's like that. Just try it." I look at him stubbornly but then go back at the equation and try what he tells me to. I can feel his look on me and when I finally end up with a decent answer I realize that I don't want to face his winning and satisfied look, but I search for him anyway, only to find his calm green eyes locked on the the jumping cheerleaders in front of us. He wasn't looking at them like the other boys do, though- he didn't want to charm them or make them like him-on the contrary-he was throwing glances at my best friend that I'm pretty sure could have the power to kill someone.

"How did you know?" I ask suddenly and surprise even myself

"I just did." he shrugged his shoulders and I look at him confused "Oh, let me guess" he starts again, this time with a knowing voice "You think I'm one of those athlete retards who has no idea how to write his homework, yeah?"

"No." I shook my head, but then decide to be honest anyway "Ok, yes. I do. Or..I did."

He avoids my stare and sits down again, this time closer to me, but still far enough. I put down my books and stare above myself for a little while.

"Well…thank you..." I say as I realize that I forgot to do that, but the end of my sentence just hangs up in the air, because I still don't know his name.

"Stefan." he helps me. "My name is Stefan."

I smile in his direction, but he doesn't smile in return, he just looks down at his feet again, trying to make himself appear distant.

My mother used to tell me that some people are just like that-that they get sad easily and at a young age, that they prefer to be alone and shut themselves from the whole world, but that doesn't mean they don't want to talk. They just forget they can do that without anyone judging them.

I wondered if with him it was like that, because he seemed pretty comfortable in his skin-it was as if being there all by himself somehow completed his world and made everything simpler. I found myself feeling jealous, for a moment I wished for his life-to be away from everything and everyone and just do what I want-read my favorite books all day long, without anyone scolding me for not studying or doing what I was supposed to.

"I'm Elena."

"I know." he answers a bit rudely "Everyone knows you. Or I guess it's better to say they know a version of you, cause no one can really know another person without actually speaking to them" his last sentence surprises me. Something inside me just switched and I gave him a surprised look, but again, as before, he didn't pay any attention to my attempts to make an eye contact.

"Oh yeah? So what do they talk for me than?"

"I have no idea. I don't listen to gossips." he answers quite offended that I took him for this type of guy.

"What do you think then?" what the hell is wrong with me? I never speak to boys like that! I never even talk to them at all.

"What do I think?" he finally turns towards me "How is this relevant to the conversation?"

"It's not. But we are in a big old dusty gym, waiting for this boring practice to be over with because we both can't stand it and our only desire is to get the hell out of here, am I not right? "

He nodded, because he obviously didn't think there was something else he could add to my assumption. We agreed and remained in silence for a few minutes while he was obviously debating whether or not to speak his mind. He didn't seem like a guy who talks much anyway.

"You probably are. But I don't make assumptions just like this. It's stupid to try and label people. You are who you are and I honestly don't care about it because I have more important things to figure out like how to win the game tomorrow." he's not rude. He's being honest and that seriously is the first time a boy amazes me. He then stands up and start searching for something in his bag. I notice that the girls will soon be done and I catch myself praying for them to take a little longer. His takes off his sweated shirt and gets another one out of his bag. To me it seems like this is the only thing he ever puts there-clothes and trainers. I notice another big bruise this time on his right side-it's greenish on the verge of getting black, which meant that he had got it recently. "You seems smart and kind, but I can't really be sure if I'm right, because I don't know you. You may be just a girl with big dreams waiting for the right moment to achieve them or you can already have your whole future planned in front of you." he puts his new shirt on and leans down to fix his shoelace "I don't know, Elena. I'm absolutely sure that I have no desire to know either, because we both know what will happen once you get out of this gym in a few minutes-you won't even think of me again. You might see me in class or in the hallways but you'll just look away and in ten or twenty years at some class reunion you will struggle again remember my name, just as you did today so…Again I don't see how any of my opinion is relevant to the conversation." he spoke the words slowly and patiently. Then he stood up and took off to the other side of the gym where the girls have already stopped jumping around with their pompoms and have headed to their bags.

"Stefan" I called him and he turned around abruptly. He waited a few minutes until I finally spoke the words out "Good luck tomorrow."

He nodded and was on the verge of turning around when he stopped and looked back at me.

"Good luck with life." he mumbled, barely audible and nodded as an addition to his words. As if he was trying to say goodbye, it was nice to see you here, but life is just like that-you won't talk to me ever again and I'm glad with it so have a nice life and good luck.

And I found this to be incredibly sad.

**Stefan's POV**

I finally got home after eleven in the evening again. Actually, I think it was close to midnight and the only thing I wanted to do was get a shower and go to sleep since tomorrow I would have to get up early again and on top of it- I won't be able to skip classes because I missed too much this week and I was really on the verge of probably getting expelled.

On my way home I thought about Elena and the conversation we had. Honestly, I never really pictured her as the type of girl who would talk to someone like me, but I guess I was wrong, which is why I refused to give her my opinion on her or actually..on everything surrounding us, because if I have done that then we would probably spent the rest of the day arguing about something since she seemed like a stubborn one to me and she would definitely try to oppose me in every way possible.

Before I could even take my shoes off my mother opened the door looking pretty worried and I immediately realized something was wrong.

"What's going on?"

"Damon" she spilled a little more relaxed after she saw me. She has probably been waiting for me for quite some time "You have to go find him, he's drunk again. I called him but he just hung up on me. "

"You've gotta be kidding me" I let out annoyed, but mostly pissed off by the fact that he has done this again. I leaned down to tie my shoes back on and handed my mother the bag "It's ok mum, I'm gonna find him and bring him back. Don't worry about it."

"Don't take too long." she said and caught my wrist as I was about to leave "Please."

"I won't, I promise."

And just like this I was out again. Honestly, the evening was quite nice, it was warm, even though there was a light wind. For a moment I even wanted to smile to myself but when I remembered reality I suddenly forgot everything good there is about life.

I love my brother, I really do and even though we fight a lot and he does all those stupid things I'm never going to be able to be mad at him for more than fifteen minutes, because I know he has his reasons. Each of us is burying himself in the thing that keeps them alive so that we could forget about reality-we were like this, both of us, stubborn, relentless and we tend to do all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons instead of actually dealing with the problems we had. We weren't much different when we were kinds-I really looked up to Damon and that often got us both in trouble. My mother had a really hard time with both of us, because whatever he did, I wanted to do as well. And I found him to be that cool big brother who never left me out even when he grew up and started going out with girls. Well yeah by that time he was way too different and I was often on my own but he also tried to find time for me and to never leave me behind because he knew that when I mess up something I never tell anyone-I just try to deal with it by myself and that usually pissed him off, even though he was doing the same thing. He was drunk now and he would want anyone to go look out for him so I'm pretty sure he would just start yelling at me angrily and he'll be annoyed that mother send me here.

And of course I wasn't wrong. When I found him at his usual place- a bar near the factory where he worked, he was sleeping on a table in one of the corners. I silently thanked God that he hasn't got into a fight or something like that as this has happened before and I was often involved as well, simply because I couldn't watch him swinging his fists in the emptiness before him without even the slightest chance of hitting the person who offended him. And I couldn't stay indifferent to all this as well, because when someone was rude to my brother he was rude to me as well and he had to understand that nobody makes fun of us. We were together in absolutely everything-that's how it worked.

At first I start talking to him but he didn't really understand what's going on until I finally throw his arm over my shoulder and get him up. Then he starts cursing as usually and by the time we are out he's already managed to sink in the fact that his brother is the one getting him out of this hole he's once again in.

I get us in a cab and when we arrive home mother is waiting for us on the doorpost with her hands crossed on her chest and a very serious expression-she's mad, I can tell. She's only like this when she has gone out of her mind and for a moment she meets my brother's blue drunk gaze. He tightens his grip as well, obviously realizing what was going on, but trying to get rid of her judgy stare.

"Jesus Christ, Damon!" she starts after we have finally closed the door behind us.

"Mother, don't" I try but she throws me a dead look as well and I decide to shut my mouth for the moment.

"It's ok, Stefan let her bash on me. "

"I'm not bashing on you, I just want you to stop doing this. It's not about me anymore-it's about yourself. You're ruining your life."

"Well I feel pretty great, with the exception that my head hurts a little so I don't see what the problem is here." he continues with his usual irony.

"Damon" I scold him silently, trying to stop him from saying stuff he will regret later.

"Damon what? I'm old enough to do whatever on earth I want." I put him on the kitchen couch while mother nervously starts preparing me dinner because she just can't stay in one single place. She keeps mumbling stuff under her nose angrily while I try to make my brother get back on track, but he's just too sleepy and won't even listen to my words.

"You might be old enough but you have a family. Don't you ever think about those around you? Your brother came home only to go back out in less than two minutes because of you!"

"Oh well too bad for him. "

"Damon!" I say again with the hope to prevent another scandal, but my mother has turned back towards us again with an even more furious than before.

"Do you even know that he has a game tomorrow? That he has spent the last weeks training and that they lost all the games they had until now? Do you know how much he really cares for you? Do you know that he wakes up at night to check if you have come back home?" OK, I didn't realize she has heard me doing that. Now I'm stunned. My mother is surprising me with all those confessions that she's spitting in my brother's face. "Where were you when all that happened, huh Damon?"

"I was at work! And I'm sorry that my brother's been fooling around with a ball while I was bringing money home!"

"Don't you dare talk like that!" she raised her voice. And my mother wasn't a person who liked to raise her voice.

"Mum" I stand up abruptly, seeing where things were going to and trying to prevent them from getting further down the line "It's fine."

Damon was also pissed off by this moment and he stood up beside me which almost caused him to fail, because he was still quite drunk.

"You are accusing me of not knowing what was going on with my own brother, but do you know what's going on with your son?" he grabbed my wrist and pulled me with himself closer to the table so she can see better what he intended to show her "He's been fighting again" he made a pause, trying to let her process it all while I refused to meet her stare and was desperately trying to get away from my brother's strong grip. "But I guess that's not relevant right? I mean what so wrong with that anyway, he's playing basketball, that means it's all fine, right?"

"Damon, stop it!" I say still desperately trying to get free

"You are afraid that I'll end up in some gutter, but I think the one who's going to scare the hell out of us is my little brother here so stop bashing on me for having a few drinks and start actually looking around yourself. He's fucked up and his grades suck." he didn't even look at me, his eyes were pierced in my mother's "I have no idea how he's not expelled by now" he finally let go of me and for a moment we stood like this in silence. I was afraid to look up and meet her brown sad eyes being disappointed for the numerous time in me.

My brother left us alone in the room and I desperately wanted to follow him.

"Is this true?" her voice was very silent. She wasn't angry anymore, she has given up, I could sense it. She had no power to deal with me anymore, not tonight for sure.

"Yeah." I said because I couldn't lie. I wasn't the kind of person who would start searching for excuses or give her lame promises. I expected her to continue talking. Actually, I realized I wanted her to-I wanted her to yell at me, to be mad and pissed off, to send me to my room and ground me, but she didn't. Instead she sat down back on her chair and stretched to get the cloth she was now sewing from the place next to her. I waited some more, but since she didn't say a word I walked away from the kitchen without even letting a sigh out. I had this weight inside me that prevent me from even breathing normally, let alone do something else.

I couldn't sleep the whole night.

And I heard her crying in the kitchen in three in the morning.

**A/N: I'm still not sure I should keep writing this. **

**I hope you liked this one.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Stefan's POV**

What does winning mean when you're all alone? How does it help you feel better? Does it make your efforts more sensible or is it just a deception that you can actually own something in this life by simply being too stubborn to achieve it?

What's winning? What does it mean?

Does it mean that I'm stronger than another human being? That I'm smarter? How can that be? How can I rule over someone else just like that?

I just don't believe it.

I don't think it's luck either. Luck is for the stupid people who believe in wishing something when you see a shooting star. It is for dreamers who hope that fate will somehow turn circumstances in their direction and it will all be better again.

I don't believe in those stuff, I just don't. I think that I'm here right now and I'm running in this dusty old gym and I'm doing everything to make a point and then another one, and then another one. I want to win and yet I don't get the meaning of this word. I want the success to bring me happiness, but it won't. It won't because I'm alone-my mother isn't here, she didn't come. No matter how long I kept staring at the seats around me, no matter how hard I was trying to find her-she just wasn't there.

After our fight that other night she didn't say anything to me and I tried to come home as late as I could the next few nights so that I wouldn't have to see her disappointed look and try to figure what excuse to find for the fact that I'm just pointlessly ruining my whole life.

She wasn't here. And yet I was running with all the strength I had, I was thinking, I was surpassing the other players, I was practically just fooling around with them-no one could manage to catch me.

And I kept asking myself after every basket I made, where is she? She always keeps her promises. Have I disappointed her that much? Why was I alone?

After the third break was over though I noticed my brother coming in and climbing up to the last row since there were the only free seats left. He didn't wave though, but he smiled and removed the hat from his head-a sign with which he wanted to tell me that he's going to pay full attention to whatever was going on the field. We didn't had time to talk either. I avoided him those few days. I felt both anger and guilt towards him. I knew he could've saved my mother the details of what was going on, mainly because I didn't want to hurt her, to make her doubt her own abilities to raise her sons and yet he did it. On the other hand I knew it wasn't on purpose. I knew he had his own demons and he was struggling with them and I had no way of helping him. I couldn't see one. He was a very stubborn person, I knew that, I was aware of it, but then again I've tried to use this excuse to calm my conscious every time I heard him come home after midnight, drunk and unable to put the key in the lock. And yet I did nothing. I didn't scold him, I didn't make him try to change his mind and stop this.

Why was I patiently staring from besides how he was ruining himself? Why was I doing nothing?

I made one foul since I got distracted. I often did that when we were playing and sometimes that was the reason why we lost-they got me out of the game and we could never make the points we needed for winning, even if they were only a few. I tried concentrating again after the coach gave me one of his deadly looks and thanked God that there were only a few minutes left. I was sure in myself this time. I felt different, because I was ready-ready to finally taste what winning was like and yet I had only bitterness inside me. I've lost all my excitement about tonight, ever since I've realized that I won't see my mother here tonight. Then I swallowed my pride and told myself that I deserve it-which was the ultimate truth. That's the way it has to be.

I made the final point and people jumped happily from their seats screaming satisfied that our team has finally won. Fathers and mothers have come to watch their sons, girlfriends have come with their best friends to brag about how good their boyfriends were, little sisters have come to support their big brothers-they were all rejoicing, yelling at me, my teammates were tapping me on the shoulder and smiling even though I suppose they would never talk to me outside this gym.

Such a strange thing-winning brings people together, doesn't it? I figured that out just now. But then again..if it is like that it means that it's deceiving, just like I initially thought-those people, they didn't know me, they didn't train side by side with me every morning or every night I stayed out late. They considered me to be a loner, I could hear them whisper in the locking rooms and yet they loved me now. Because I've helped them win and their parents were proud of them, they were happy and they would live through this happiness together. They'll share it with each other.

I look up at the place my brother was. He is standing up, smiling at me, clearly satisfied with what has happened-he wasn't clapping, he wasn't yelling, but he gave me a nod and that's all I needed, because it meant-you did it, brother and I'm glad I was here to see it. That single gesture was the world to me tonight. It meant absolutely everything.

I didn't smile though and I didn't clap my hands and I wasn't letting myself feel happy. I waited for them all to get out slowly of the gym, still yelling joyfully, jumping around and talking to the coach, who by the way tried to get to me, but I simply nodded and ignored him as I sat back down on the benches besides the field.

People started moving out, talking cheerfully, some of them stared at me and the way I was sitting-with my head bend down and sweat coming from my hair. My jersey with the big number seven on the back was wet, but I didn't took it off, neither did I put my sweater on so I wouldn't feel cold. I just remained like this, with my hands on my head, slowly running my fingers through my messy and now dirty hair. The ball has rolled back near me, and I leaned down to take it. It felt so light in my hands, like I can just toss and turn around or put it in my pocket and I won't even feel it. One of my old coaches used to say that this happens when you train a lot-you just stop feeling the borders of everything around you-the ball is light, the court has no finish line, you jumping from the center seems like you're shooting almost near the hoop. I felt like this now..and it was a good feeling, but it couldn't help me drown my guilt or suppress it with tiredness.

I feel someone taking the place beside me and look up to see my brother still smiling at me.

"So, that's what you've been doing those past few weeks, huh?" he asks, but I don't answer. I feel too much weight in my heart to talk, I feel like I've betrayed everyone I ever cared about. He can feel it though, which is why he wants to make me talk. "Though you don't seem to be happy with the result?"

I didn't answer him. The truth was-I wasn't happy with any of it. Yeah, I worked my ass off, but then what? Who was there to see it? Surely not the person I wanted to be there. Winning doesn't mean anything when you're alone.

I felt him moving uncomfortably on the seat next to me. He always did this when he was nervous, wondering how to pick the right words.

"Look about the other night" he started, but I didn't want to hear it so I interrupted him.

"It's fine, Damon."

"It's not fine. You came to find my drunken sorry ass and all I did was bash on you in front of mother. You didn't deserve that." I remained silent. I couldn't figure what to say. That it's fine? He knew that I wasn't mad. Not now for sure. I couldn't be angry with Damon for more than a few hours. I didn't like to hold such feelings inside me, they couldn't do me any good-not to me and definitely not to him or mother. So I usually just suppressed everything inside, I didn't let it get to me, I didn't want it to control me. I still don't know if this is a mistake or not. I'm just that type of person.

"You have to stop drinking so much, Damon" I said honestly. "I know you have a hard time, I know that things aren't the way you want them to be in your life, but you have to stop, because you're scaring me out of my mind sometimes. It's not about mom-it's about me. I keep imagining you in some gutter out there in the moments when I can't find you. And every time I keep telling myself that you'll be in this or that bar and when I can't find you there are terrible scenes passing through my head. And I can't live like that-I can't live not knowing where you are. "

He nodded slowly, understandingly.

"I'll try to do something about it, I promise. "

"Good. Because if you don't do, I will. I promise you that, brother. I can't keep watching you like that. If it means you'll hate me-then good, I don't mind that as long as you're here next to us." we look at each other for quite some time, without letting a single word out. He knows I'm serious and I'm really going to do what I just promised him and I'm glad he realizes how bad the situation is so that he could start doing something about. Then he nods, appreciatively, because he understands that some battles you can't find alone and it's good to know that there's someone out there stubborn enough to care for you and to be willing to give everything just to bring you back from the edge. I know that now we both need some time on our own so I stand up and put my hand on his shoulder. For a moment he seems like the younger brother, not the other way around. Drinking has made him thinner, it has taken away all the cheerful colors from his face, even the jokes he usually made were not that funny anymore, because he has lost his happy spirit, his optimistic view on life and that made me sad. I was allowed to be a loner, I've always been like that-a kid who kept things to himself, but he was supposed to be another person, I knew that much. He has lost a lot of weight lately and the dark clothes he wore made him look almost like a ghost. As if he was somehow transparent, not really here. "I'm going to take a walk, brother. Then I'll come back home. I need some time alone, yeah?" I tell him and he nods with a sad reassuring smile.

"Don't take too long, though" he adds as I was walking away. I waved my hand, without even turning around, to give him a sign that it'll all be fine and then I get the hell out of this place.

I put my sweater on once I go outside since I'm still sweaty and the weather is kind of cold and makes me shiver, then without even thinking where I'm going I take on the left side and start walking. I liked doing that, it helped me clear my mind some, it calmed me down.

I don't know how long I walked and how many shop-windows I passed by, but by the time I've actually started coming to my senses I was far away from the center of our small town. I looked up and I realized I'm in one of those dark questionable neighborhood which was in the opposite way of my own place. I was about to look back down to my sneakers and continue my sad thinking when I realized that I know the girl who was walking a few meters before me. The long brown hair was gently swaying up and down her delicate shoulders. She was dressed in a light summer t-shirt, skinny jeans and converse shoes and she was definitely freezing since I noticed that her hands were around her arms. Strangely the first thing that came to my mind was to rush next to her and give her my sweater, but then suddenly I changed my intentions-why would I do that? I didn't really know this girl! And she was probably just about to get home. But wait…why was she even here? She was a rich girl, from a founders family and they lived in the opposite direction. I knew their house-it was a big one with that white fence every girl dreams for and a big red oak door. Their house always amused me when I was younger and mother took us downtown. I remember watching it and thinking what would it be like to live in such place. Sure-the Lockwoods and the Forbes had bigger houses with much land to them, but somehow I thought there was something poetic in the way the Gilbert's house looked.

I was wondering what she was doing here? It was late and this neighborhood was the worst place for a girl to be alone. I noticed that some of the boys, standing outside bars or diners made inappropriate sounds as she passed by and I really wanted to just go there and smack their faces but instead I kept telling myself that I can't get into a fight right now, that I shouldn't, because that would be just another disappointment for my mother, which is why I decided that I'll follow her home, just to make sure she gets there completely safe and sound. I kept my distance from her and waited patiently for her to start making the right turns and just get to the opposite direction, but she didn't. She seemed almost lost in thoughts as I was today and I could feel something just wasn't right.

I don't get these people-they have everything they could ever wish for. She has a father who cares about her, an enormous house, friends that love her and her future is practically insured-she could become everything she ever wanted to because her family had money and she was smart-she could go to any college she wants. Probably even the Ivy league ones.

But why am I even thinking about her? There's no point in trying to figure out the disturbed rich girls who were desperate to find a problem in their lives just so they could make it more interesting. I will just send her home, being the invisible person I always was, and she wouldn't even notice.

Even though I was so bend on seeing only the worst in her I couldn't deny that feeling inside me that said kept reminding me there was something different about Elena. I couldn't figure out what it was exactly, but it existed. She didn't seem that spoiled like Caroline or the other girls in school. There was some kind of sadness in her, a sadness I couldn't understand.

For the life of me I couldn't figure out why such a beautiful girl could look so lost sometimes? I've noticed her teary brown eyes as I've passed her by in the hallways, I've seen her waiting for her friend to finish practice-seeming so distant from everything around her and I've seen her in the library-lost in the books and their magical world. And only now did I realize that I've actually paid attention to her, but I didn't let that conclusion change my opinion in any way, because I usually liked observing people.

We turned around into another street, a darker one and I started cursing myself for following this girl in the middle of nowhere, in the worst neighborhood and the coldest for the season weather. Where did she think she was going?

Before I could continue mentally cursing myself though, I noticed that she was passing by a group of boys who started calling out some nasty words to her. She suddenly stopped, startled and looked around herself, only to finally realize where she has ended up. She tried moving away from them and even mended her pace, but one of them, a tall, but not that strong boy caught her wrist.

I immediately dropped my bag on the pavement and ran towards them. For minute they have all surrounded her. I could hear their words "Sweetheart, what's the rush?" and her trying to wrench herself from them, but the skinny girl she was she just didn't have a chance. "Why so grumpy now, babe?" another person's voice. There were four of them and I quickly realized who will be the easiest to take down-the one behind her back, who has put his hand on her shoulder. I didn't need anyone to convince me I should do something-my inner guts were screaming out to just get this over with, so as I finally approached them, very silently, in a cunning, fox-kind of way I jumped on the boy's back and took him down.

She turned around abruptly and I noticed her terrified glance-she was desperate for help.

"Run, Elena!" I yelled, trying to get her out of her frozen position. She needed to let the fear free her and get the hell out of her "Get around the corner! Now!" I let out again and she finally started moving. I managed to notice her doing what I've advised her to, just as one of the other guys was pulling me back from the first one's back. We went down and he got over me-he was really mad that I've intervened. I'm not sure where the others were, but I could see the one I've managed to put down, still on the ground and a third one behind this one's back. He hit me a few times in the face before I could actually react and I cursed myself for letting him get that far-now I would get a black eye and mother would be mad when she sees me. I caught his hand and pushed him away from me, then pinned him to the wall and returned the his favor by hitting him a few times in the ribs, then in the groin and waited until he crashed down in my feet. As I was about to get away another one caught my shoulder and turned me towards him-he was holding a knife and for the first time this evening I heard Elena's scared voice.

"Stefan!" she yelled from behind the corner. Jesus Christ, that girl had no sense for self-preservation. She should've run away ages ago-why was she still here? I wasn't afraid of a knife, though I admit that the situation has drastically changed and become more serious. He waved it in front of me a few times and I tried hitting him, but this one was strong and hard to take down and now places were reversed-he pinned me to the wall. I tried getting away, but his grip was tight and he managed to hit me pretty bad a few times in the ribs. He was talking something, but I wasn't paying any attention to him at all. I was trying to figure out the best way to get out of this situation. Fortunately, he made a mistake-he waved the knife against my face again and before he could actually stab me somewhere with it I took the rush decision to grab the blade with my bare hand and kick him in the stomach. I felt the knife cutting my palm and the blood started dropping on the pavement, but I tried hard not to let the pain consume me and hit him with my elbow in his face. He staggered and fell down.

I didn't wait long to take the next decision-I knew we had to move-fast! Elena was still sheepishly looking at me from the corner, confused and completely startled after what she has just seen. I'm pretty sure she hasn't let it all sink yet. I ran towards her and grabbed her hand.

"We have to get out of here. Now!" I yelled, with another desperate attempt to make her realize where she was and what was going on. She nodded and I grabbed her wrist gently with my healthy hand. I could feel the warm blood from the cut spilling and I've clenched my wrist in desperate attempt to stop it, but I couldn't. After we've run for quite some time she suddenly stopped and I looked around myself-we were almost back in the center of the town. I leaned down on the side of some wall and opened up my palm. I could also feel that burning feeling on my right side, where one of them has hit me in the ribs. My right eye has probably swollen too, since I had a hard time trying to open it up. She came closer and took my hand gently in her small hands. I managed to see the look in her eyes-she was finally back to earth.

"It's deep" she said as she examined the cut "You need stitches."

"I'm fine." I tried to calm her down. Going to a hospital was the least of my intentions right now. "You need to get home."

"No, I'm not leaving you like that. You saved my life."

"I did nothing like that." I opposed her and took her hand in desperate attempt to make her keep going. She had to get home fast and be taken care of-she looked so pale, as if she would collapse any minute. But she stopped me once again and took a handkerchief out of her pocket only to wrap it around my palm.

"We're going home. My father is a doctor, he'll help you."

"No, I have to leave. You don't understand" I tried explaining, it was already too late and I was sure that when mom sees me it would only make things worse, but I needed to get home.

"Stefan, please." she asked and pierced her brown eyes in me with some kind of determination. She wasn't going to leave me alone and I only realized that now. I nodded and she started leading me now. I wasn't up to going to her house, not now for sure-when I was tired, hurt and lost, but I had no other option-this girl..she was a stubborn one and for the first time in my life I've met someone as bend on doing something as I was. And honestly that completely confused me-I had no idea what I should do.

By the time we've reached her house she was walking in a straight line, with a confident step, her hands were still a little bit shaky, but apart from that the roles were completely reversed-now I felt sick-ish and all I could think was how I want to throw up. She has put her small arm under my shoulder and was gently pushing me to keep going-something that I definitely didn't like. I wasn't a week boy and I was completely fine-this was just s scratch.

She knocked on the door desperately until her mother finally opened only to see her daughter and an unknown teenage boy with blood on his basketball uniform. She didn't seem scared though, even if in the beginning she was a bit startled.

"What's going on, Elena?"

"Mom, get dad! Now! He needs help." she responded still with the same determination and we entered the hallway. I kept asking myself how many wounded boy has Elena Gilbert brought home?

"Oh, man" I said through teeth since I still felt pain although I didn't want to admit it "You shouldn't have brought me here."

"Shut up." she cut me off and I gave her a completely surprised look. This wasn't the girl I thought she was-a silent, smart nerd who did nothing but read books in the library. I wanted to oppose her but a man in his forties rushed from what seemed like a living room to us dressed in a stripped pijamas and a perfectly ironed white t-shirt which almost made me laugh. He rushed towards my side and without even saying a words out, let me into another room which seemed like a doctor's office. I've heard that sometimes people go straight to the Gilberts house instead of the hospital so maybe he has adapted his own room where he could help people. I wondered what it was like to live in such a place where anyone can simply knock on your door in the middle of the night, wake you up and ask for help just like we did now. He wasn't startled that a wounded person has come to his house, I think he was just surprised that it was his daughter who brought him. He put me on a bed and at first I refused to lie down, but he pushed me on the chest and carefully unwrapped the handkerchief Elena has put.

"I'm fine, really." I kept saying "I just need to get home."

He pushed me back down though, for the billionth time and I saw him getting mad with my resistance.

"Hey!" he bend over while still pressing a bandage on my hand "Stop it! I just need to make a few stitches and then I'm letting you go, ok? But you have to stop moving around, because you're making it hard for me."

And then I stopped moving because I felt bad that this person wanted to help me and I was bashing on him. I closed my eyes and the thought I was desperately trying not to let sink in, finally found its way back.

I wouldn't be able to play anytime soon.

I wouldn't be.

Yet somehow it was worth it. At least the girl before me, watching her father from the door and rushing back and forth giving him what he needed was safe and sound. I knew I would do what I did tonight for anyone-even if they were complete strangers, but now that I've done it for her…it somehow made me feel different and surprisingly relieved.

She was fine-she was safe.

**A/N: I had a sleepless night and I decided to spend it finishing this chapter. Thank you all for the amazing reviews and the follows. I hope you get to like this one as well. Since I'm desperately trying to save this semester and I have awful exams coming up, updates will be delayed. Hope you understand!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Elena's POV**

I'm so shattered after what happened that I can't make myself sit in one single place. At first I wanted to help dad while he was stitching Stefan, but my hands shook so hard that he gave me one of his demanding looks and I went out of the room. He joined me in a minute, made me sit down and tell him everything. I started crying in the middle of it all and couldn't stop until he hugged me and rocked me like a little kid. I honestly don't remember how I ended on this street, I just went out to clear my mind. Caroline got on my nerves today and I was so mad that I couldn't keep studying. Plus it was Friday evening-people my age don't even consider doing homework on Friday-they go out and have fun, but I wasn't just any girl, actually as I think about it I was even worse than an ordinary one. There wasn't anything special about me and I was desperately hiding myself from the world. Even the most ordinary girls had friends-I think I was surrounded by nothing but false ones.

Once I've realized where I've ended up, I immediately got the feeling that something wrong was about to happen and when this guy caught my wrist I thought this was the end of it-I had no idea what they could do to me or more like-I didn't want to let the thought of what they could do to me sink in. And then he just appeared out of nowhere-I had no idea what he was doing. When he stood before me and started fighting those guys it almost seemed surreal-like I was watching a movie. He was moving fast as if he knew what he was supposed to do, though in the moment when he caught the blade I knew those weren't his initial intentions-he acted rashly, without giving it a second thought, without considering how much pain it could cause him-there was a light in his eyes-a very interesting one. It wasn't only that he was brave-he was also indifferent to what could happen to him and that completely amused me. Most of the time I noticed him throwing me worry glances, I'm pretty sure half of the time he wasn't even looking at them, which is why they eventually pinned him to the wall. I've never before seen people fight like that, maybe that's why I was so startled and couldn't make a move until he yelled at me to get behind the corner.

He was so stubborn after we finally got out of there and kept insisting that he should just get home on our way back to my house. He was such a different kind of person, I couldn't figure him out at all. Mostly, I think tonight I found out he was extremely selfless-he kept saying that he didn't do anything, that he's fine. He was desperately trying to avoid attention.

I didn't get the chance to speak with him tonight anymore though. My father-even though he was more than understanding, was also quite mad at me for leaving like this and not thinking where I was going, so he send me up to my room and ordered me to get some sleep. I couldn't fall, though, no matter how hard I tried and I heard someone open the front door after half an hour or so has passed, which meant Stefan has found the strength to leave and my father has failed to convince him that he can give him a ride.

I couldn't stop thinking about Stefan though. I couldn't figure why he was so bend on leaving, as if he was disturbed by something. He didn't want to come here, to owe me anything, which I found very strange. Why was he refusing people's help? What was wrong with trying to make him feel better just after he has literally saved my life? I wondered what kind of person he really was and for the first time in forever I was curious. I wanted to know him better.

I have seen him in the hallways so many times and I've failed to actually notice him-he was a jock and until now I've always considered those guys to be simply dumb and definitely far from interesting. But now that I've actually managed to see through this, I've figured out that he was not the person I initially thought he would be. And once I've let this thought sink in, I realized I want to know more about him. I needed answers.

How does someone just throw himself in the dark for another one without wanting anything in return? How could he not just stop and think about it for a second? How could he remain indifferent to the danger, to the possibility of him getting hurt?

I see boys around me who act all confident and masculine and who think they own the world, just because they are the most popular people in the school, but at the end of the day it turned out that the real people, those who would always give you a hand are people like Stefan-who are silent, kind and even a little insanely brave.

People who just act without expectation, who are willing to toss whatever they have in life without thinking twice about it so that they could help another human being. And here I am, in the middle of the night, startled and still shaky, figuring that all out just now. Why was I so blind all those years? Why did I desperately wanted to fit into a perfect cheerleader Caroline Forbes reality when in the end I could be nothing but a ghost in it?

I'm not sure I was even that willing to participate in that world-a reality which was nothing but an actual fantasy. I don't know why I was trying, I don't know why I was going up and down the hallways after Caroline Goddess Forbes when I could've been in the library reading my favorite books or trying to write out some idea that has appeared in my head a while ago.

I guess the thought of simply not doing it has never occurred to me by now and that terrified me even more.

Somehow I suddenly felt relieved-there was no need for me to live by rules I hated so much anymore. Even thought tonight was probably the worst night in my entire life it was also the best one because it helped me realize that I could be myself. I could stop living in the shadow of another person and do whatever feels right.

And I can't believe that the most silent and lonesome kid in the school was actually the one to help me come to this conclusion.

How strange is this world exactly? How did I never notice this before?

**Stefan's POV**

I slowly walked all the way home. I'm honestly not sure how I managed to do it-the only thing I was able to comprehend as a thought in my head was that I wanted desperately to get to my bed. Elena's father offered to drive me home, but I refused, he has done more than enough this evening and plus I wasn't that bad, for now. He gave me some painkillers for tomorrow since he was sure I would be struggling while in my head I was making plans for going to the court and at least throwing the ball around with my healthy hand, even though he reminded me a few times that I shouldn't do any physical activity. I realized I wouldn't be actually able to play decently for quite some time and yet here I was-stubbornly trying to convince faith that I will be able to somehow turn things the other way around.

Elena's father thanked me a countless times before I left and I honestly felt very uncomfortable. I didn't do anything so remarkable-just fought with a few guys so a girl could go safely home. Since when is doing the right thing considered to be such an unbelievable act that it people thought they have to praise it?

I've been in far worse condition after fights and I couldn't figure why he seemed so concerned. Or maybe he was just too shaken by the whole story and couldn't comprehend that such thing could happen to his little girl? He was a nice person though, I think I might have misjudged him and his whole family for that matter, not that I've spent much time thinking on the subject. I was glad that she was safe.

As I approached our house I noticed that the kitchen light was on, which meant that Damon was home and awake. Mother was supposed to be at work, thankfully, because I have no idea how I would have dealt with her right now, when it was becoming harder and harder for me to walk. I'm not sure I was even up to talking with Damon about it-I really didn't want anyone to know what happened, I liked to keep things to myself. It was better if they decided that I just fought with someone instead of knowing that I've come to the rescue of Elena Gilbert-the daughter of the best doctor in this god forsaken town.

It takes some time for me to find my keys since there's a bandage on my left hand and I'm pressing my broken rib with my right one so by the time I've found them I could hear my brother's steps in the hallway-he has figured I was coming home. I took too much time anyway. Just as I open the door he appears on the living room door post. As soon as he sees me he stops abruptly, obviously quite disturbed from what he was seeing before him. I try to compose myself and close the door behind me with the last strength I am left with. He rushes to me as soon as I stagger after desperately trying to put my shoes down.

"Stefan!" he says with a concerned voice and puts his arm over mine "What the hell have you done again?" I can't believe that for the first time in months I am the one to come home late, looking like hell and not him.

"I'm fine, brother" I try to free myself from his grip but he doesn't even let me go. We stop in the middle of our way to my room.

"Jesus Christ, how did you manage to do that? I left you alone for a few hours and you come home like this." my brother-he accepts things fast. He's just like that-he sees a problem and he either deals with it or comes to terms with it until he could figure out what to do. Now that he has seen me like that his first priority is to make sure I'm fine-that's just the person he is. I definitely looked up to him all those years while I was growing up. More or less, he is the reason I helped Elena today, he's the reason I didn't just pass by those gang of idiots trying to take advantage of a poor girl. Ok, metaphorically poor, cause her family-they definitely had quite the fortune.

"Damon, seriously, I'm fine." I said barely audible again

"Yeah, right." we slowly come closer to my room door and he opens it up. I make him stop on the way to my bed though, because it's hard for me to catch my breath-ok maybe Mr. Gilbert was right to give me all those painkillers. Damon waits impatiently besides me, there isn't a trace of smile on his face, now he's serious, trying to figure out what has happened. He's worried. And I hate it and appreciate it at the same time. In a minute I finally hit the bed and slowly try to lie down, but he stops me and pulls my jersey up.

"Damn it, Stefan. Did you break it?" he looks at my right side, without failing to notice the big bruise there.

"Damon, leave me alone." I push his hand away and lie slowly down, trying to find myself a place where it wouldn't hurt me. I close my eyes with the hope to fall asleep while he leaves my room, but he doesn't even make a move. Instead he catches my hand with the intentions to bring my attention back to him. But I don't look up, I don't have the strength to.

"What happened?" he asked silently which is his way of showing me that he wants to know.

"Nothing."

"You come home like this and the only thing you get to say is nothing? Come on, Stefan. You know mom will be pissed off, after she passes her initial shock. Is that what you're going to say to her as well?"

"No, you'll cover up for me." I say partly as a joke, partly seriously, because I really need his help this time.

"No way!" he's pissed off now. He can't understand why I'm being so stubborn. Honestly-I can't even explain it to myself "Not until you tell me what happened?"

I just shake my head and close my eyes again. I can hear him letting a deep sigh out.

"Will you ever stop being so stubborn? I am your brother, don't you trust me?" he's hurt now. Interesting, how many stages do we go through only so we can get a hold of the truth.

"It's not about trust." I let out tiredly "I just don't want to talk about it. Not now." even though he was very mad, he also understood my inability to comprehend a decent answer right now so he stopped pushing me, because he knew, deep down, that if it has happened to him I wouldn't ask any questions, I will just patiently wait until he feels he's ready to talk. And so he respected my decision and asked if I needed anything, after which he stayed by my side for quite some time until I felt myself dozing off.

**Damon's POV**

I spend some time by my brother's side, I don't know how much, I just sit there and think. Sometimes I even stand up abruptly when I notice him moving uncomfortably. I know he'll be fine though it might take some time, but I'm just concerned, especially after he refused to give me a proper explanation about what has happened.

Mom always said I was the one who brought more troubles, that was until Stefan grew up and started losing himself as well. I can't figure out what happened with him, I just can't, no matter how hard I try. He just..broke, out of nowhere. Not that he used to go out that much or be the center of attention, but he seemed to have shut himself off the whole world so much, especially lately. Or more likely-after he got expelled last year.

We didn't even talk that much anymore and now I think it's partly my fault-I have also drifted away. I went out every evening, then came back early in the morning when he left for training, I don't think I was keeping track of his life at all and this wasn't just some boy-he was my brother, I should be aware of what was going on with him. Mother was right all this time-I had no idea what was going on in his life. Maybe this is why he kept making all those mistakes-he was looking up to me, after all, and what was I doing-getting drunk and losing myself on my way home. Or even worse-making him come find me.

He has lost all kind of guidance in his life when he needed it most, when he was at this time of his life when he was supposed to figure out his future, to make important decisions. And he had no one. Yeah, mother was here of course, but lately things in our family were going just all the way down and I'm not sure that she even realized what was happening inside him, even though she was so bent on making me see how I have no idea what's going on in his life. I'm not sure she was able to as well. Sometimes you just need a wall behind you when you feel like falling so you can lean on something-instead he was just constantly making free falls into the nothingness.

Around five in the morning my mom came home back from work and found me in his room. I didn't hear her at first because I've started to fall asleep as well, but once she opened the door and managed to catch a glimpse of what was going on a worried expression appeared on her face. She was both startled and angry-she couldn't believe that he has done this for yet another time. I stood up and caught her hands nodding her to the door-he needed some sleep.

Once we ended up in the kitchen she pulled herself away from me.

"What on earth has happened again?" she was tired of it all, I knew it. But she was also worried, it was her little boy who has done yet another stupid thing and got himself hurt. "Why is he like that?"

"It's ok mom, it's fine. He just got into some quarrel with the guys from the other team after the game. He's alright, just a little bruised, nothing serious" I'm not sure I was even lying to her, since I didn't know how much he was hurting actually. I admit I was good when it came to lying. Or maybe she was just too tired which made it easier for her to believe me.

She leaned on the chair and put her hand on her forehead, while gently rubbing it-I guess she had another one of her headaches. We stood in silence for a while, both trying to assimilate the whole story, which wasn't probably even remotely close to the truth. I really hated it when I lied to her. But I owed him too much as well, especially after I brutally told him out that night when he got me home after I've got myself drunk.

"God, I should've went to see him play. He shouldn't have been alone. " she said tiredly after a while.

"He wasn't." she looks up surprised "I was there. But then he said he wants to take a walk for a while and I left him alone."

"I have no idea what I'm going to do with him anymore, Damon. He has to stop doing this."

"I know. " I said understandingly. After all she was right-the fact that I was lying to her didn't mean I couldn't actually be on the same page with her. "I'll talk to him, I promise. He just needs some guidance, it will all be fine." I tried to reassure her and she let a deep sigh out, seemingly a little relieved.

"Zach called me the other day" she said out of the blue and I furrowed my eyebrows. I couldn't see where she was going with this "We talked a lot about what's going on and he offered to take Stefan with him to Boston if things don't work out. He said that in the summer Stefan was staying away from troubles." our looks met and the strong disagreement in my eyes hit her "I thought a lot about it and I was against at first, but the more this keeps happening the more I think it will be better for him. Maybe he needs to get away. "

That suddenly got me extremely mad.

"You think sending him away will solve things? Really, mom?"

"Damon, I am trying here. Do you think that I just want him to leave so far away? This is half the country, not just a few miles!"

"Exactly! You are his mother-you are trying and you're going to try even harder. I know that I haven't been here lately and that I seemed like I don't give a damn about neither you nor him, but you can't just send him off. That's not how it works. He needs us, don't you get it?" I suddenly realized that I have raised my voice while trying to prove a point "And it's not only about him actually, it's also about us." with that I meant the words I couldn't say out loud simply because it was hard to get over myself -I needed him, that was the truth.

We looked at each other for quite some time until she finally nodded understandingly and I let a deep relieved sight out. Then I send her off to bed since she looked pretty much as worse as Stefan and I sat on the kitchen table, drinking a cup of strong black coffee and watching the sports channel. I don't think I was paying attention to the TV at all. I was just too lost in my own thoughts. But I was sure of one thing-I was bent on making things get better from now on-for all of us.

I couldn't bear watching yet another person from my life disappear. It was too painful.


	5. Chapter 5

**Elena's POV**

I find it harder and harder to understand the world with every passing day. Before, I really wanted to, now I think that after last night that's impossible and I should simply give in to what I want to do. Maybe I want to be a writer, maybe I want to be an outsider or maybe I want to be truly loved, to find a friend with whom I can share everything around me, maybe I wish I could fall in love if that is even possible. I'm not sure what I want, I am not going to lie about this, even since last night things are upside down. I couldn't even steal one hour of sleep, it was hard to let go of all those thoughts in my head, even though I was beyond tired. It felt as if I was exploring a whole new different side of me, of every single thing in my room even, in the smallest stuff in our house-things I never noticed before. And I was confused, more importantly-I was scared. Scared that up until now I was so blind to all surrounding me. It seemed as if I was sleeping somehow, partly participating in a place I wasn't sure I even want to be in. It scared me…how indifferent I was.

So now it was time to start changing things. I wasn't a big believer in new starts or whatever people liked to call these stuff, but I surely wanted to do something. It's been on my mind since last night and that should be the first step to something new, something different.

So when I walked outside our house and started slowly figuring out where the Salvatore's live I felt excited, although the uncertainty that often tripped me in the communication with other people was still present inside me-those things, they don't just disappear for a day or two, I needed time. But that was fine, time didn't matter now, it was just important that I get there, that I move a bit from my awful current state of existence, if of course, anyone could call it like this.

I knocked on the door, still feeling a little out of place. The front porch was a mess, there were shoes everywhere, and somehow the whole place seemed old, but not those houses on our side of town where old meant wealthy, more like that kind of old which is on the verge of falling apart, but is still somehow hanging there. The house wasn't big, nor was the yard-there was some sadness to it all.

A man in his twenties opened the door to me, he wore a big black shirt and dark jeans, which matched his hair. His cold blue eyes pierced me and confusion flashed through his face, before he could actually get himself together and try to smile. I admit-he looked very attractive.

"How can I help you?" he was the first to talk, it seemed like I have lost all my words in matter of seconds. I wondered if he knew who I was.

"I'm sorry…I am looking for Stefan. Is he here?"

"My brother just went outside. " oh, so I was right when I initially thought that this was Damon Salvatore. I remember Caroline talking about him being very attractive, but too old for her. Seems like listening to her finally paid back. "You'll probably find him at the basketball court a few blocks from here." he added politely, which wasn't at all what I expected. I've heard he's a douche.

"He went to the court?" I asked confused. He wasn't supposed to be even getting out of bed today, my father told him he should be resting and he was..outside? Instead of responding to me right away, I noticed him simply staring me from top to bottom, obviously trying to figure out, where I seemed familiar from. Then he stopped his gaze on my wrist, which was a little bruised form the guy who caught me last night. I felt even more uncomfortable then I already was while he seemed more and more confused. "Thanks then. I'll go find him." I turned around, now hurrying to get out of here since I didn't like being interrogated and Damon seemed like he's about to just do so. He closed the door behind me slowly, probably still asking himself what was this about. I wasn't sure I myself had an answer to his question. I wondered how he let his brother out like this, did he knew nothing about what was going on? About what happened? Is this why he was so confused?

It took me a while to remember where exactly this court was. I haven't been in this part of town in such a long time that it seemed like a completely unknown area that I had some difficulties exploring. Eventually I found it and as soon as I was able to distinguish the sound of the basket ball jumping around I realized I was a little afraid to face him right now. It took me a few minutes to come back to my senses and as I shook my head I came closer.

He was shooting with one hand-his healthy one, the other was on his side where the broken rib was, he obviously had difficulties running, which is why he was aiming from a definite place, trying to make a point. I stopped and took some time to observe him. He patiently went to get the ball every time that it slipped his grip, he leaned down slowly and took it up in his hand with the help of his legs. Sometimes he stopped a little and stared at the hoop, just trying to figure out where it should be best to make the strike from. He appeared tired, there was sweat coming down his forehead, his white shabby t-shirt was half wet. For the first time I noticed how messed his hair really was-he had a laid back appearance, he obviously wasn't shaving his beard every day cause now it was stubble, his clothes were dirty, there was a pack of cigarettes coming out his back pocket. As a whole, I made the conclusion that even if I wanted to notice him more in school, I probably wouldn't even pay the slightest attention to him. He stopped for a moment and brushed the sweat from his forehead-he looked awful and the more I approached him the more I realized his face was pale.

"Stefan?" I said that silently, but he managed to actually hear me-there wasn't a single person around us, it was quite peaceful actually. Now I was starting to understand why he likes coming here. Or at least I guessed that he likes-I didn't know anything about him at all. And I wanted to change that, because I managed to see through him-he was a good person, who has shut himself out from the whole wide world and who didn't care about anything at all-and I found that incredibly sad.

He turned towards me surprised, but he didn't furrow his eyebrows as he usually did when our looks met. I could've sworn that I was the last person he expected to see here.

"Elena? What are you doing here?"

"I think I could ask you the same thing." I responded now quite confidently. "Are you okay? You don't seem well."

"I'm fine" he answered without a trace of smile on his face, but that wasn't because he was angry at me or something like that, I think he just had to deal with too many things inside. "Are you okay? You look like you need some sleep."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a lot on my mind." I tried to assure him with a smile on my face. Surprisingly he didn't frown this time, instead he came closer, still with the ball under his healthy hand.

"I have the feeling that you want to talk?" he asks, though I'm sure he knows he's right. I nod slightly and bow my head down as if I am ashamed, for what-I don't even know. "Then can we sit, because I'm still a bit" he looked for the right word "shaken, I guess."

"Yeah, sure." we headed towards the bench and he slowly sat down, once he finally did, a relieved gasp escaped his mouth, as if he has waited for quite some time to rest. I didn't understand why he was here in the first place. He should just be at home.

"Look, Stefan, I just.." I started and suddenly found a shortage of words. Somehow whatever I wanted to tell him couldn't be expressed with words that good, maybe I needed to do it with actions. But then again I didn't know this boy, so what could I do for him. "I wanted to thank you for what you did last night."

"That's all right. I just did what was right" he responded and gave me a reassuring smile. Somehow he seemed confused to me, as if he didn't want me to say whatever I needed to say, it seemed as if I was making him uncomfortable, but then again he was too polite to just cut me off, or that's what I thought at least. "I did what anyone would do in this situation."

"That's not true." I was suddenly up to opposing him.

"I didn't do anything heroic, Elena. I just helped a girl out. I don't think I deserve the credit you're giving me." he said now seriously "I'm just glad that you're all fine."

"But you are not." I pointed out

"You think too much, Elena." he said knowingly "It's over. Get back to your life and forget this ever happened. Go out with your friends, have some fun, escape the reality."

"You have no idea how long I've been doing this. " he didn't respond, not because he seemed confused, but because he didn't want to believe me. He simply thought I was too spoiled and didn't appreciate what I had. Or at least..that's what I believed he thinks of me. "Is there anything I could do for you?" I asked after a few minutes of complete silence. He was staring somewhere before him, piercing his eyes in the horizon. It seemed as if he wasn't here with me at all.

"I didn't do it, because I wanted something back, Elena." he responded silently.

"I know. But still, I wish I could find a way to thank you."

"Your father patched me up last night, I think that is enough." he gave me a wide smile

"That was nothing." I tried to reassure him. My father helps so many people and I'm pretty sure Stefan is one of the few who really appreciate it.

"He's the best doctor in this town. It's sure as hell a something." he insisted. "Really, Elena." he gave me a big sincere smile. I noticed how ruffled his hair was as if he hadn't brushed it in more than a week. His face was tired, but not only that kind of tired cause from hard work or the loss of physical energy, but also that kind of tired caused from deep sadness. There was something different about Stefan-he seemed like he didn't belong much to this world, as if his thoughts were leading him to a whole different place. He seemed sadly wise as if he has seen many dark stuff who have changed him and I wondered what was it that really crushed him. I dared to ask myself if it could be love, but I surely wasn't up to actually questioning him about it. I was pretty sure he wouldn't tell as well.

"So" I started, trying to change the subject since I've noticed that we've stayed in silence for quite some time and he was now looking up at the sky, again wondering about something "Why did you came here so early on a Saturday morning?"

He wasn't startled by my question and he didn't cut me off, but he gave me a weird look, which was hard for me to understand. It seemed as if he was asking himself how on earth was it possible that I cared about him.

"I just..I like coming here" he obviously wondered before speaking out loud his thoughts "It gives me peace, you know?"

"Yeah, I know" I answered and felt like the stupidest person on earth. I found it hard to express my thoughts with him so close next to me. He made me nervous, but a different kind of nervous, which somehow I found enjoyable "I feel like this in the library."

"Why am I not surprised?" he said without trying to sound funny "How did you find me anyway?" he suddenly remembered that I was the one to come to him

"I went by your house and your brother told me you must be here." he nodded with a light smile as if he wasn't surprised to hear his brother being involved in this at all.

"Why were you so eager to find me anyway?" his question came out of the blue and made me forget. He saw my confusion so he just continued answering his own question-I'm not a boy who girls would notice or talk to, even if they've helped them.

"Well I'm not just any girl" I said now seriously since I felt that with his words he was just trying to make me ordinary and simple-minded as the rest of the cheerleading squad whose only purpose in life was to roll in bed with yet another football player.

"I know you're not" he said defensively "I was just wondering here"

"What is there to wonder about? I am not just some of those girls you see in school who live for the gossip and the secret kissing with another boys in the bathroom."

"Elena" he said now seriously and looked up "I know you're not." he said it sincerely, as if he completely means it and in this moment, I swear I believed him. Only now did I notice how green his eyes were and how full of honesty they were. He was an honest man-I realized. Damn, he was an honest man and he made sure he never forgets that.

I nodded and we remained in silence for a few minutes. I felt this weight inside me, I wanted to share with someone everything that was going on these past few days, I needed someone's encouragement that I was indeed doing the right thing or more like-that I should do the right thing and just live like I want. But then again-why did I need someone to tell me that? What would that change since I've realized it already? Sometimes words have greater meaning than we want them to, but sometimes they are just words lost in the nothingness around us, words which won't make us do anything at all, but who break boundaries, friendships, relationships. Actions matter most and he sure as hell made me realize that last night-his deeds have saved my life and that was the only thing that made sense last night.

"Well thank you for understanding that." I finally said and stood up, ready to go my own way. He was a good boy. He surely didn't need anyone like me in his life. I understood he has his own demons, stuff that make him wonder a lot about probably everything that was surrounding him and a girl like me, who doesn't know what she sees around her and what she wants from life shouldn't be a part of his life. I really wish I could do something for him, but he seemed bend on making me believe that it was all fine and what he did wasn't that big for him anyway. It was significant for me, but it wasn't for him and that made me envy his selflessness and courage. I wish I was more like him-to just act without expectation. He seemed so surprised to see me here today, which made me realize how good his heart must be since he didn't expect absolutely nothing in return. As he noticed that I was about to leave he stood up as well and I managed to read disappointment in his eyes, though just for a moment, which made me doubt my observations.

"Wait, I'm going home as well" he said and leaned down to get his ball from the ground. I saw he has a hard time kneeling so I decided to help him, though when I leaned as well our heads bumped and we both laughed out loud. He let me help him and I handed it over only so he could put it under his arm. I felt myself blushing just from this small interaction we just had, but I tried to hide it from him while rubbing my head on the place we've collided, hoping that he wouldn't pay me any attention.

We started walking slowly, without talking at all in the beginning, he seemed deep in his thoughts again and I decided not to interrupt him. I really wished he wasn't so lonely, I wish there was a good girl out there for him, or at least a good friend. Then again I realized I'm thinking this and wishing all those stuff for him only because I don't have them as well and I knew how he felt. We were loners in a noisy world-it was hard for us to go through the path life was offering us without questioning our own logic sometimes.

"I'm sorry if I said something wrong earlier" he finally let out when we approached his house "I honestly think you're a smart girl and I shouldn't have judged you since I don't know you."

"It's fine, Stefan, you didn't say anything wrong." I reassured him with a light smile and he tried to respond me with the same though I could still see the regret in his eyes.

"Have a nice weekend and stay away from trouble" he added as he was just about to take the turn leading do the street where his house was

"I promise, I'll try' I laughed nervously and observed him as he turned his back to me. Before he could get too far away I yelled after him "Stefan!" he turned surprised with a confused look. "I'll see you in school." I said now slowly and silently, but I know he heard me because he smiled again, for the numerous time today, which made me realize how good this makes him look

"See you, Elena" he added and we both turned our backs to each other as if we were two little shameful kids, shy to talk to one another, blushing every time they see the other's eyes or joyful smile.

I've never felt more innocent in my life.

**Stefan's POV**

I didn't go straight home. I needed some time to think about her. I couldn't figure out why she has come today, she told me how grateful she was last night. I was surprised that someone actually cared that much for me helping them. I walked slowly around the neighborhood and the more I thought the more I realized how I don't know this girl at all and how wrong I was to judge her and believe she's just one of those stupid cheerleaders like Caroline Forbes who don't give a damn about anything else, but who to sleep with next.

She seemed very confused, though. As if she was about to make some big decision and suddenly change everything in her life, as if she was on the path for something new. And that was honestly so nice it made me want to just tell her how good it was, but I was afraid, I was a coward. I couldn't speak out loud and maybe that was for the better-she needed to deal with whatever she was going to do right now on her own, figure her life and I couldn't be more happy, that is, if I was right. I might have not been reading the signs right after all, I might not be right about her. I doubted myself a little, but I remembered her eagerness to help me last night after she saw my cut and how persistent she was. If she was an indifferent girl she would've never brought me to her father, she would've never come to see me today. It was hard for me to understand exactly what was going on with her. It's true-she was a girl and they are always confusing us boys, but she was also a person, a human being just like me, who went through life and carried her own weight inside her and I should always be understanding towards that. You never know what a person is going through, we all have our demons, which we wish we could get rid of no matter how persistent they are. The fact that she was rich, that her family was well-known and that her friend was the most popular girl in school meant nothing. She was above all a person, I once again realized, and she seemed like a lonely person. She seemed like misunderstood person.

And yet again I wasn't the right one to help her, because God knew how screwed up I was and how nothing in my life was right. I was rocking like a boat in a rough sea and every time the wind blew a little harder I could just turn upside down and drown in the nothingness that is our life. I felt her sadness, I felt her genuine beauty and because of that I knew I should stay as far away as I could from her. I don't know why, but when we were together, even for such a short time I felt like she could understand me. The way she looked at me when I took some time to answer her-not with pressure or expectance, but just with understanding. Even the silence wasn't filled with that nervous weight that you are supposed to say something when I was with her, on the contrary-it seemed like silence brought us more closely and gave us time to understand each other better.

That didn't matter though, the only thing I could feel towards her was hope. Hope that she'll find someone or something to make her feel complete, to help her with whatever she wanted to do from now on, to find the guidance she needed for the ability to accomplish her dreams. I was surely a fucked up person. She didn't need me anywhere around her.

I finally approached our house since I was getting tired from walking so much. I was hoping Damon wouldn't be home, because I wasn't up to talking with him. I had so much on my mind since last night that I just wanted to lie down and forget about everything that has happened. But I didn't have any luck with that. Once I entered the kitchen I found him on the table, drinking beer and watching a football game. He gave me a wide smile though I was able to read the concern in his eyes. He was still worried about me and I hated that. I didn't need anyone to feel like that for me since I was perfectly fine.

"Hello, brother" he said joyfully, with the intentions to cheer me up with his enthusiasm for which I wasn't up to right now. I just dropped the ball and went by the fridge to get myself something to drink since I was drying from thirst. There wasn't almost anything there though-the milk was too old and we were out of orange juice. I knew Damon might have just drank it all. I honestly wasn't up for judging him though-orange juice is better than bourbon. Since I couldn't find anything I just went by the table and got the beer bottle right under his nose. I drank the better half of it at once and I noticed his confused look on me. "Why are you so grumpy?" he said after I finally gave him his bottle back "Are you in pain?" he asked with concern.

"I'm all fine, brother." I responded barely audible. I felt like the world was spinning all around me, but that wasn't from the beer. I couldn't sleep at all last night and now I was finding it hard to concentrate and stay in one place. I regretted going to the court and trying to play at all right now so I just sat next to him on the table and stared at the screen.

'You look pale." he concluded.

"Fine" I said cutting him off.

"Fine?" he asked surprised "What the hell do you mean fine?" he was confused, couldn't understand my behavior, honestly, I couldn't as well.

"It means you gotta stop worrying, Damon. You're getting worse than mother."

"I'm never gonna stop worrying, Stefan." he stated seriously and I knew he was looking at me, waiting for a response, trying to figure out why was I so annoyed. I thought he would start bugging me about Elena, since he was the one to open the door and explain where I was, but he obviously didn't find this important now. I ran my fingers through my hair and stretched my hand to his bottle again, but this time he was fast and snapped it right out of my fingers.

"Oh, come on." I protested. "You can drink all day long, but I can't have a few sips?" he didn't laugh or smile as he would usually do in this situation, instead he turned off the TV and looked at me seriously.

"Wanna tell me what's going on?" he asked

"What's going on with what exactly?" I was playing dumb. I wasn't up for serious conversations right now. I knew he wanted to truth about what happened, but I wasn't about to start explaining everything to him right now. Not when I was feeling like crap.

"With you, brother" he continued with his serious voice, but I just looked down and put my hands on my head again, trying to find a way out of here "What is wrong? I am asking you seriously, Stefan. I can't understand you and I want to help you, can't you see that."

"There's nothing going on with me" I spilled out tiredly

"Oh really?" he said unbelievably "Right, brother. There's absolutely nothing going on? You're a mess, Stefan, just look around yourself! You came home after midnight with broken ribs and smashed face after god knows what you did and you're not even willing to talk to me about it!"

"Damon" I started apologetically, but he interrupted me

"Is it about this girl?" he finally decided to include her in the conversation so I guess I might have been right when I thought Elena would be a subject of our conversation today.

"It's not about a girl at all." I cut him off "I just helped somebody that is." I was starting to get nervous "And if you can't get that, I don't know what else I could tell you so you would believe me."

He let a sigh out and took a sip from his beer, obviously trying to think of what he should say next. I knew my brother-he was a good and selfless person who would do anything to protect me, which is why he was acting like this. And I really do love him for being the brother he was, but I didn't want to talk to anyone right now.

"Just talk to me, brother" he pleaded "I am trying to help you here."

"Damon" I stood up abruptly, but still with my hands on the table, supporting my whole body since I found it hard to breath with the bandage on my right side and I easily staggered "I know." I confessed and he looked at me with worry, this time a different kind of worry though. The one that a person feels when the other knows something they are not supposed to. "I heard you and mother last night." I continued.

"Stefan" he tried to interrupt me, but this time I wasn't eager to hear anything else.

" She's right you know" I said and looked away since I could feel the warm tears in my eyes "You have to let her send me to uncle."

"I am not just letting you give up like this" he suddenly raised his voice.

"Listen to me" I said seriously, trying to make him understand "It's better this way. There's nothing left for me here. You better start accepting it, Damon-I am not something you can just fix. I'll keep getting into trouble and I'll keep causing mother headaches and she doesn't deserve this. She's too tired and there's too much weight on her shoulders. It's better if I leave."

"No" he opposed me "If you leave you'll just keep ruining yourself, only this time the place will be different. And I'm not letting you do this. I won't allow it." he said stubbornly

"Let it be, Damon. It's what I want as well " I said sadly and our stares finally met I saw how hurt he was. But I was hurt as well. There was so much pain inside me that it kept me up awake at night. He was drowning his demons with alcohol, but there wasn't anything I could drown mine with. So I just had to live with them no matter how painful that was. We stared at each other for quite some time until I finally turned my back towards him and slowly went to my room. I didn't hear him turn the TV on, I guessed he might still be thinking and processing what I've told him. He definitely didn't expect me to have heard them last night. It came out of nowhere to him, but mostly I think he couldn't accept that I was just giving up and agreeing to what mother was saying. I suppose that surprised him most. I loved my brother, I honestly loved him, but he had to start fixing his own life as well.

And I wasn't supposed to prevent him from doing this just because I was a lost teenage boy. He deserved a good life, my brother. He was a good man.

**A/N: I'm sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I had some awful exams and it was hard for me to find time for this story since it's more complicated and I need to spend more time thinking on it. Hope you enjoy. I would appreciate you sharing your thoughts on it. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Stefan's POV**

I was waiting impatiently in front of the principal's office for my brother to come out. He's been inside for more than forty minutes already and I was starting to get worried. I know I've made some mistakes and that my grades were awful, but I wasn't sure it was necessary for them to ask for one of my guardians comes here today. Then again, I've lied about the parents-teacher's meeting and tried to cover up the fight I was involved in three weeks ago, so I guess, they might have been a bit right to call at home and ask for a private meeting. When mom hung up the phone she was beyond furious. I think the last time I've seen her like this was when Damon crashed the car into a three half an year ago. All I wanted to do right now was light a cigarette, so I can calm myself down and think again of how awful my life has been lately, since I couldn't really go to practice with my hand so screwed up, and how everything was going downside. I still haven't talked to mother about my intentions to really leave, because Damon's been doing everything to prevent this from happening. Lately, he was trying to act all responsible. He often came to my room to talk and made sure everything was fine, that I wasn't in pain and that I was keeping out of trouble. No matter what the time was, when he came back from work, his first stop was my room. I liked spending time with him- he usually brought me some beer and we watched the sports, but he was sometimes a pain in the ass. Especially when he was trying to make me understand that I have to find my way and start doing things right. I never fought with him, though, I only remained silent or didn't listen to his words at all. I was trying to just make him understand that I have my own view of everything in life and he doesn't need to constantly go beside me, support me and make sure that I won't get into another mess. Honestly, one of the reasons I wanted to leave, was because I didn't want him to worry so much about me and feel on edge every time I got back late home, wondering if I've done something ridiculous again. Since mom was working today, he had to come here and deal with it all, which he accepted with open arms. He was very good at scolding me, even better than mom, and he was looking forward to giving me another big speech. Once the door finally opened and him and the principle exchanged a few words, he headed back to the bench I was sitting on and I stood up, feeling a bit nervous.

He gave me a very stern look and slapped me on the back of my neck.

"Oh! That hurts, Damon!" I protested, but he continued looking at me with the same determination that he always had when he was thinking that now is the time to kick my ass and make things right.

"That's only the beginning, Stefan. I promise you." he said seriously and walked down the hallway. "How stupid are you exactly?"

"Damon I-"

"No, I don't wanna hear your stupid apologies. You think you can make me feel bad for you-you can't!" he suddenly stopped and turned back to me, but I bowed my head down, since I was afraid to face his fierce eyes right now. "You've screwed up, Stefan. Big time. You're failing almost everything and you were in a fight a few weeks back. When were you planning on telling me that? Let's not mention how many classes you have skipped. The principle was on the verge of expelling you and warned me that if you don't get yourself together he'll make sure that happens. You be glad that mom isn't here or right now those hallways would be echoing with her angry voice." he spilled out and continued walking, when he suddenly make a right turn instead of continuing forward to the exit, and I wondered what he had in mind.

"Damon it's not that simple. I had to go to practice and-"

"Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me about that' he stopped again "You're no longer going to practice. Actually, forget about basketball at all."

"No way!" I almost yelled and then realized how glad I was that the classes were over and there was no one else left here, except, I guess those who had practice and the tutors. "I worked hard to get where I am, I'm not stopping now."

"I don't give a damn, Stefan. You need to get your grades up and fix everything you've messed up."

"You can't do that to me! You don't understand." I protested again, now sounding more desperate, which made me hate myself even more. I wasn't a weak person, I didn't want anyone's pity.

"Oh I understand, believe me. But the thing is-I don't care. I'm not watching you ruining everything anymore and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you make things right." he suddenly stopped and I realized that we were in front of the tutor center. I was so blinded by my rage against him that I didn't really watch when were going. So what now-he was going to make me sit down and study? "Get in!" he said, but I didn't make a move "Now, Stefan." he continued and I finally made a few steps. I hated him for doing this. It was my own damn life and I could do whatever the hell I want with it. I sure as hell wasn't staying here playing by his rules. I only needed the school year to be finished, so I can leave and never come back to this goddamn town, which I already hated with my guts. My brother can stop playing hero here, when he hasn't even fixed his own life, but was trying to do so with mine. I didn't want to talk to him, or mother, or anyone for that matter. I was angry and full of rage, since things were going on the downside this past week. I wasn't able to go out, I was still in pain sometimes and I couldn't sleep. It was impossible to find some peace anywhere around this house and they didn't let me go outside much as well as they were controlling freaks and needed to make sure I don't go too far to get in trouble.

"I don't need a tutor." I said grumpy, but he just put his hand on my shoulder and led me to the desk where Mrs. Smith, who was in charge of the library and the tutor center, was dealing with some paperwork. When she heard our heavy steps approaching she looked up and gave my brother welcoming smile.

"Oh, Damon Salvatore" she remembered everyone of the previous students here "What bring you here?"

" Mrs. Smith, I'm pleased to see you again." Damon said politely. He could charm the hell out of every woman, no matter what age they were "You haven't changed at all." he continued with the compliments.

"Oh" the old lade blushed "You're a liar. What can I do for you?" she asked now even more willing to help until her look stopped on me and she furrowed her eyebrows lightly, just for a slight moment, only so that could help me read her thoughts-she wasn't fond of me. I once lend a book from her library and never got it back. And she surely had a good memory, no matter how invisible I was in this school.

"My brother here needs a tutor, I thought you can give us a hand at who's best." he continued with the same flattering voice

"Tutor in what subject?" she asked and got her look back from me to my brother, which immediately brought a smile to her face.

"Oh he's failing almost everything" my brother continued talking for me "But I guess Biology and Chemistry are his worst right now." I only let a slight grunt, but it was loud enough for Damon to hear it and step on my shoe, before I could make a comment on the subject.

"Oh well, then you should probably go to Elena Gilbert. She's the best in that area." What? Elena! No freaking way! I am not letting her tutor me under no circumstances.

"No." I said harshly interrupting Mrs. Smith and Damon, who put his hand on my shoulder again and gripped it for s light moment.

"Where can I find her?" he asked again without paying any attention to my words. As if I wasn't next to him, but he still felt as if he had the right to decide what I do from now on. I was pissed off at him. Yelling at me, for my own actions-that's all fine, but setting me up with Elena as a tutor was completely another.

Mrs. Smith stood up and took him to another room, where the tutors were giving their lessons and my brother ordered me to stay here. I was on the verge of just taking my back and walk away, I wasn't up for this. I didn't want to get my grades up or satisfy my mother. I just wanted to play basketball and get the hell out of here. There wasn't anything else for me anymore. I know I was being absolutely stubborn right now, I was realizing it and yet I didn't want to let go of it and just accept it all. I wanted to get out of this school and go throw a ball at the court so I can calm down and forget about how screwed up everything was. I know, I wasn't right. I know Damon only wanted the best for me, I know he cared. But the thing is-I didn't want him to care, I just wanted it all to be over with. I wanted my hand not to hurt anymore so I can play like I want, I wanted the school to be over with, I wanted to just do whatever I liked doing without thinking of the consequences. But mostly-I wanted to be left alone and I knew that wasn't going to happen anytime soon since Damon was so bend up on making sure I get my life straight. What does this even mean, I wondered. He can't just fix things like this, he was only deluding himself. But then again, I cared for him as well. I didn't want to cause him trouble, I wanted him to be proud of me, which was the only reason I was sitting down on this chair right now-I cared too much about him to disappoint him more than I've until now.

When I heard the door open again I was unwilling to turn around, but as I heard her gentle sweet laugh I couldn't resist myself. As I saw her next to my brother, I realized that I didn't like him being so close next to her. It made me furrow my eyebrows even more than they already were, but when she met my look, I suddenly softened and gave her a light smile, only for a short minute, even though I was feeling so mad and betrayed inside. She wasn't supposed to be helping me. Moreover-I didn't want her to help me.

"Hey Stefan" she greeted me enthusiastically. I immediately noticed the childish innocent spark in her eyes, which wasn't present in our last conversation and it made me want to smile as well, but I was just too mad and angry that I was being played like this so I didn't show her in any way how glad I was that I was actually seeing her.

"Hey" I responded silently and looked back down at my shoes. I didn't look good today-my clothes were a bit shabby and their colors were fading away, which only made me look more like a person who doesn't belong to the present than I initially even wanted to be. "Ready to find your love for Biology again?" she asked a bit shyly and looked up at my brother who nodded approvingly. I felt very stupid in that moment. As if we were two kids who were listening to what their bigger sibling was saying and they had no other choice but to silently obey.

"Right now?" I asked hopelessly and gave my brother another one of my angry looks.

"We have test next week so we better start up right away" she said again, which pretty much surprised me. I've never heard her talk so much, not in school anyway. I noticed that her cheeks were no longer red-ish, she seemed eager to start doing something and I honestly admired her willingness to keep moving forward in life, no matter how much it lacked sense right now. I let a deep sigh out, ran my fingers through my hair, nodded slowly, again completely helplessly and followed her outside, under my brother's approving and finally happy look. At least one of us would be satisfied today, I thought as we were finding our way to the big room full of kids teaching other kids subject that didn't really matter in real life. She led me to one of the tables in the corner, which seemed more remote-I guess she liked solitude as well. We sat down, but I didn't really dare to look up and meet her eyes again. There was something inside me that wanted me to do so, but I was trying very hard not to give in to it. "So, look" she started and I had no other choice, but to meet her beautiful brown dove eyes "I know that you're not up to doing this, but it's for your"

"Own good. I know, Elena" I interrupted her, but not harshly. I only wanted to tell her that I understand "Let's just get this over with." she nodded and opened up the book.

"Do you have a pen? A notebook?" she asked when she saw that I'm not attempting to show any productivity in our first lesson. I shook my head feeling embarrassed and stupid. She didn't judge me though, she didn't let an annoying sigh out and she didn't scold me for being so irresponsible. Instead she smiled and dig up in her own bag only so she would get out a clean notebook and a black pen out of it and hand them over me. "Here you go." she said politely and I felt even worse, unable to speak up and even say that I'm grateful, so instead I nodded and tried to give her a smile, though very unsuccessfully. She moved her chair closer to me and I suddenly tensed, while still refusing to really look up and meet her kind eyes again. She didn't pay any attention to my shyness. Instead she pulled the book closer to us and started explaining.

We spend the next three hours there and every time her hand accidently brushed mine, while turning another page or writing something, I felt my heart clenching from her gentle touch and my cheeks turning red, but I tried to remain silent and understanding. I didn't want to cause her any trouble, so I listened carefully to everything she was explaining. We stopped for a break only once and in that time she went to get herself coffee, while I remained on the same chair, trying to figure out how to solve the previous test. She was very strict when it came to me understanding stuff and answering the best way possible. She even scolded me from time to time for being too lazy to write something out even if I knew it and I never opposed her, I only did what I was taught, because she was a person I wasn't looking up to disappointing. Once we were finished, I felt completely exhausted while she continued to be this full of energy and eager to learn and teach more girl. She took my notebook and wrote me when our next meetings will be and my heart clenched at the thought of us being so close to each other again. I couldn't figure out what was going on with me-I didn't like girls, I never fell in love. I was just indifferent to it all-until she came along and confused the hell out of me, making me feel so strange around her, so lost and found at the same time, making me unable to figure out how is that even possible.

"You know" she started as we were both gathering our stuff "You're pretty smart, Stefan. I don't know why you have such bad grades. "

"I really…don't care much about school" was my honest answer as I finally stood up and found the courage in me to give her a light smile. I guess she expected me to leave her, but I decided to wait and send her on the way home, since I felt like I owe her. When she was done we walked slowly away from the enormous room, being one of the last few remaining there, because she was caught up in explaining me as much of the lessons as she could as we didn't have much time till the next test. When she was talking about Biology was as if she was explaining literature-she made it all look so logical and even easy to understand and read that I actually started to like it even though I wasn't eager to admit it.

"How's your hand?" she asked once when as we were out and I noticed her staring at the bandage on my hand.

"Oh, it's better, thank you." I hurried to assure her while trying to figure out what to ask her next since she was the one to start any kind of communication with a subject different from school.

"I bet you miss playing already." she made a good guess and tucked a strain of her hair behind her ear nervously.

'Yes, it a lot. And I'll keep missing it until I get those grades up, I guess."

"I don't think that's something to worry about" she said, trying to calm me down, in which she was surprisingly succeeding. "You'll make up for the bad ones in no time." I smiled gratefully and nodded in appreciation for her words.

"Thank you for agreeing to do this. I know you have other students as well."

"It's fine. I wanted to do this." she emphasized on the her last words and I seriously started wondering what she meant by that "I wanted to do something for you, just like you did something for me." ah, now it all made sense. She was still trying to make up for me helping her that night. Why was she so bend on making us even? It wasn't about this at all-it was about being human. But I wasn't up for arguing with her, we all had our own perspectives on things. If she needed this so much then I didn't mind, maybe it was her way of achieving personal satisfaction-by helping the dumb basketball players, who weren't even basketball players at this right moment, but only pathetic skinny boys with shabby jeans.

"So, what's up with your friend Caroline? I haven't seen you two together lately?" I finally found something to ask her about as I remembered seeing Elena all alone in the hallways this week, which made me actually feel bad for her, but since my pride was too big and I didn't really know her after all, I never went by her side or sat with her. I was a loner myself and she seemed to be okay on her own, which is why I never make any attempt to go and talk to her. Then it hit me that she was a girl and girls liked attention, they liked being surrounded by friends and discussing the gossip going around school. But now Elena was the gossip for the others, she was the black sheep, who was keeping away from the cheerleader herd. That was just so screwed up and sad that I had no words for describing the stupidity of some people in our small, weak, lacking any kind of common sense teenage community.

"Well" she started and I sensed the bitterness in her voice, which made me immediately regret my question "I realized she was just one of those friends you have who only use you for writing their homework and assignments, for cheating on tests and dealing with everything in group projects and nothing else. So I told her to get lost and now the whole school hates me."

"I don't hate you." I said a little too fast and she looked up at me surprised, which made me blush a little and look back down at my shoes, but I looked back up, now trying to sound determined "You're a good person, Elena. And because of that people think they can treat you according to their preferences. I'm glad you're smart enough to not let them do this."

"Thanks." she said gratefully and gave me one of her big genuine smiles "You know, I thought I would feel pretty lonely once I finally speak up my mind and tell her to just leave me alone, but it's actually…pretty much liberating. I never thought I would feel so good."

"Loneliness is a good thing" I responded "Because it gives you more time to think, to observe and that helps you understand everything around you better." I wasn't trying to sound wise or anything like that, I was just speaking my mind, and she was carefully listening to me. I don't think anyone ever paid so much attention to my words as she was right now. Every time I spoke up I always felt like a dumbass. I wasn't good with words…I sucked with words. I liked reading and I wrote my English assignments in a relatively acceptable way, but when I had to actually talk to people-I fucked up. With her though, it seemed like I'm letting it all out just like that, without thinking, and they actually made good sense "But sometimes we all need a friend by our side, because there are moments in life, you just need to share with someone, otherwise they lose their value, they become insignificant when they are supposed to have the greatest meaning." I finally dared to look back at her and noticed how serious her expression has become, which made me regret speaking up all those things. She was lonely now, she has just lost her friend and I told her that she'll need one. Am I stupid or what?

"Is that how you've been feeling?" she asked out of nowhere and I stopped abruptly only so she would follow my lead and stand still by my side, expecting me to give her a respond "Because I've never seen you with anyone in school and I just thought-" now she was regretting her words and was trying to say something that would make us both forget the initial question

"It's fine, Elena" I said reassuringly "Yes, I don't really have any friends. Maybe it's better this way. I'm not a very good person to begin with, I would probably bring trouble to whomever decided they should get close to me."

"I don't think so." she opposed and hurried to look away "I just think that sometimes in life things mess up and there's nothing you can do about it." we started walking again "I'm sure you deserve a friend."

"You do as well" I hurried to assure her as well and she smiled again. God, she looked so beautiful when she smiled "But not like Caroline." I added and she giggled.

"I hope we both find the right person then" she said and stopped again, but this time because we were approaching her house

"Thanks a lot for agreeing to do this." I repeated, feeling like a total idiot in front of her, unable to make another compliment or say something else different from what I have until now.

"It's fine." she reassured me again as if she knew I needed it "I'll see you on Monday, yeah? And reread everything I explained today or you'll be in trouble. You need an A on the test, okay? "

"Really? I was hoping for a C."

"My students never get a C" she said with determination "And don't you dare disappoint me, Salvatore or I'll kick your ass."

"Oh really?" I said and giggled only so I would get a reaction out of her "And how exactly are you going to do this?" I challenged her and she punched me surprisingly in the arm, which made me drop the book I was carrying.

"Ouch!" I let out and she suddenly got all worried and leaned down to get my book "That was unexpected."

"Are you okay?" she said with concern in her voice and took up my injured hand, which still had the bandage on "Does it hurt you?"

"You punched me in the arm, not in the palm, Elena." I said while arching my eyebrow and she cleared her throat nervously, without really paying any attention to my words, instead she made me open up my hand since I've clenched it in a fist and made a disgusted expression

"You should change this, it's too dirty!" she protested and I gently pulled my hand away from hers with a light reassuring smile on my face.

"I would make my mom put anew bandage tonight." I promised and she nervously pulled a few steps back with her hands behind her back.

"Yes, you should definitely do that" her words started lacking any sense and all I wanted to do was just laugh out loud, but I knew it would hurt her so I just nodded once again and we said our goodbyes, after I also made the promise that I would reread all the lessons tonight. I waited until she got back to her house and then slowly took off with a smile on my face.

**Damon's POV**

When Stefan finally decided to come home, mother and me were having dinner. He seemed pretty mad at me for making him go to the tutor center today, but honestly, I didn't really care about how much he resented me in this moment. I was worried about him. I knew he wasn't sleeping much lately and not being able to play drove him to an edge. Today when I told him that he won't be going to practice anymore, I saw pure hatred in his eyes and then..I realized that he felt helpless. We were taking everything away from him, just because we were so desperate to make him participate in real life, have good grades and become a responsible person. He hated us for this, he hated us for wanting to change him and I'm sure he realized that we were doing all this because we were worried, yet he couldn't really stop his emotions-he felt betrayed. I was always the careless brother, the one to bring trouble and doing whatever on earth I want and I now I was putting boundaries all around him, making him feel hopeless and even more sad. When he entered the kitchen he tried to get away from sitting on the table, but mother gave him a judging look and he decided to join us, though he didn't really said a word. My mom didn't make any attempt to talk to him either, she thought that he should be the one trying to communicate with us, but I could see he was nowhere near getting there.

Later after I've just brushed my teeth and was ready to go to bed I noticed that the kitchen light was still on, which made me suspicious since I thought mom has already gone to bed. She has been working the whole day and she was exhausted. I came by the door only to notice Stefan sitting on the table and her clearing his cut and gently putting a new bandage on his hand.

"You shouldn't leave it like this. It was too dirty, you can infect it" she scolded him, but in a way which expressed her concern. He didn't say anything, though, just patiently observed her as she was carefully cleaning the dirt from his hand.

"Mom" he said after a while as I was just about to head back to my room "I want to go to uncle Zach in Boston after the school year is over." she suddenly stopped dealing with his cut and looked up at him surprised "And stay there." he added.

It took her a while to answer him, I could see how confused she was, he has totally taken her by surprise so she tried to hide her confusion by looking back at his palm and the bandage. I noticed that her hands were trembling a bit and so did he, because he caught her with his healthy hand and made her look back at him.

"Why?" she asked before he could speak up again. I almost wanted to laugh. Was she seriously questioning him right now? This was her idea in the first place, now what? Was she changing her mind all of a sudden?

"I think it's better this way." he sighed "There isn't really anything for me here." he spoke up the same words he said to me

"What about me and your brother? Aren't we enough of a reason for you to stay?" she said sounding hurt. He stood up though, she has finished patching him up.

"I just wanna leave, mom." there was such deep sadness in his voice that it made me want to go inside, kick his ass and hug him in the same time, that's how much his words really affected me. She nodded slightly and gave him a tired, but full of disappointment smile. He nodded in appreciation and I headed to the door. I hurried to hide back in my room. Yes, exactly, to hide. Because I couldn't face him and his sadness right now. I couldn't figure why he was so bend on leaving. Did he feel left out when he heard us talking with mom that night after the fight? Did he think it was better this way-to just get the hell out of here so that we could be happy, calm and free of all kinds of problems? Because that wouldn't be the case.

I couldn't really fall asleep for the next few hours. I kept thinking how I would feel if the room beside mine was completely empty. I kept trying to figure out how would I feel without my brother by my side. I kept wondering if that's what loneliness is? Is that what he's been feeling like all this time?

**A/N: How sweet are those two idiots exactly, huh? Anyway, I'm sorry for not updating earlier, I've pretty much convinced myself to stop writing for this story, but I guess I changed my mind. Hope you enjoy! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Elena's POV**

I was angrily trying to destroy all the ice cream we had in the fridge under my brother's disapproving look. He kept asking me if I was fine, but I didn't really respond properly. I'm not sure I was actually listening to what he was saying, I was just so mad right now. What was the point in trusting people when they always just screw things up, boys especially! Not that I didn't have the same problem with girls-girls sucked as well, they were cunning and sly and did you tricks in front of the whole school so that when you go to your locker you're scared to open it up because your notebooks might be soaking as well as your only jacket and outside the wind is gently finding its way through your half wet hair. Not that I was expecting anything less from Caroline. She didn't just forget things, if she wanted to get even with someone she would do it in the most nasty way possible and since I was the one to so to say break up with her now she had to have her own revenge and changing my position in the high school cheerleader chain wasn't enough-she wanted to humiliate me. Anyway, Caroline was only part of the reason why I was drowning in despair and destroying all the ice cream I could find in our enormous, but extremely silent and lonely as my own heart, house. I wanted to forget about it all. About the people who pretended to understand you and talk to you as if they know you for years and then just disappoint you and throw everything you've worked so hard away. By people I meant Stefan. The last time I saw him was yesterday at the Biology test, he hasn't been in school today and he missed our classes which made me extremely anxious. I guess he has screwed up so much on the exam and that he was such a pussy that he had no guts to came and face me. I saw how nervous he was during the test, he stayed in the room even after the bell rang and I got worried about him, because lately on our lessons he seemed very tired and more than distracted.

At first, I thought that this was just part of his big play to act as if he doesn't care what happens from now on, just so he would get it back at his brother and continue to stubbornly ruin his life, which was, of course, beyond stupid, but later on as we continued seeing each other every afternoon, I realized that he was simply extremely exhausted. I asked him if he was okay and if he wanted us to get some rest, because he seemed as if he'll fall asleep every twenty minutes, but he continued to stubbornly deny all my suggestions and to apologize that he was like this. He was pretty smart and he remembered everything I was explaining, but I think there was so much going on inside him right now that studying was the least of his problems. He had this..tortured kind of look as if he was passing through life while carrying so much and with a heavy heart and I couldn't figure if that made him look sad or if it made me pity him. Either way, I was trying to keep my emotions to myself, though I couldn't prevent myself from laughing at his stupid jokes after we finished with our lessons and he casually, just as a friend, bought me ice cream and talked about everything that wasn't school. I never let those short meetings last more than an hour, though. I was convinced, somewhere inside me, that this boy, no matter how kind he was towards me, will bring me trouble. Or maybe, I was just listening too much into the words my mother was using to describe him the other night when I casually woke up feeling thirsty and went downstairs for a glass of water, only so I could catch her and father discussing me and Stefan. She said the boy might be nice, but he's a mess and honestly…at first I got so mad at her for judging him without really knowing him, but then I realized that this is the exact definition that suits him perfectly-he was a mess in every aspect. Though, I couldn't figure out if that was good, sad or troublesome. After today-I think, it's the last one. He was a coward-he has probably screwed up on the test and now he didn't have the guts to come here and tell me that he's as good as gone from this school, so he was just skipping the lessons we were supposed to have, because that was the easier way to deal with things-to just run.

I heard the doorbell ring and yelled at my brother to go get it, but since he was probably upstairs playing games, he didn't pay any attention to me and the bell kept ringing, which annoyed me even more than I was already. I stood up, unwilling to let go of my precious ice cream, which is why I bought it with myself to the door. For some unknown reason today I was trying to protect absolutely everything I had from potential male treats and since my brother was in the house-he was still one.

"I am coming, dammit!" I yelled in anger as I was finally opening the door, only to face an extremely tired Stefan, with a sweat coming from his forehead and a messy hair completing his whole appearance of a person who has just gotten out of bed. But he hasn't, because his beautiful green shirt that matched his eyes seemed freshly ironed and made him look somehow..for the first time presentable. The jeans he was wearing weren't the old shabby ones-they were new and his whole appearance was somehow brighter, happier, though the big circles under his eyes and the tired expression on his face made me suddenly change my mind about yelling at him from the minute I saw him. I felt my heart clenching-he was just a boy, dammit. And yes, that was a reason to hate him and doubt him, but right now I couldn't feel anything but sorry for him. To see someone with shiny new clothes that are supposed to make him look all happy and good, but instead to realize that the person in front of you is nothing but a sadness covered up with patched up broken reality, was actually…a bit cruel. I tried to get myself together, though and crossed my arms on my chest, trying to appear mad. Not that I wasn't, I was just..a bit conflicted ever since I saw him.

"Elena." he said my name as if he was trying to apologize with one single word. He sounded so desperate that it made me just want to open up my arms, sigh and let him in for a coffee so that he would understand that I've forgiven him, but that he's still a jerk.

"That's my name indeed." I said sternly.

"Look, please, you gotta hear me out." he started, but I cut him off.

"I'm not sure I want to listen to your excuses, Stefan." I was on the verge of just shutting the door under his nose. I hated excuses more than anything in this world. If you're gonna find reasons for being an ass, I don't want to have anything to do with you.

"Please, just hear me out. My brother," he was trying to catch his breath. Has he seriously been running all the way from his house to mine? I tried to shake this thought away from my head "he had an incident in the factory, he dropped one of those heavy packages on his foot and he can't walk so I had to go and deal with his work for those couple of days, because we needed the money." he just spilled that out as fast as he could, because he could see how relentless I was on not hearing him out. His green eyes pierced mine and I suddenly felt benevolent towards him, even though I was desperately trying to fight this.

"You couldn't call?" I didn't make a single move. I wanted him to understand that he can't just play with me like that.

"I'm so sorry, Elena. Please, I didn't mean to miss the lessons, I just had absolutely no time." he continued apologizing, while being completely aware how pathetic he looks right now, though that didn't seem to bother him at all.

"What happened with the test?" I asked and leaned on the door post, without even giving him a sign that I might invite him in. He didn't seem to mind though, but his posture relaxed a little and he took a step closer while rubbing the back of his hair in confusion.

"Well, I don't know." he said feeling confused by the way I changed the subject "It wasn't that hard I guess."

"You do realize that if you continue screwing things up, I won't be there to help you anymore and you're as good as expelled from the school, right? " I continued acting as if I'm judging him about absolutely everything and I honestly, I was feeling like I want to punch myself in the face, because he didn't deserve to be treated like that.

"Let me make it up to you." he asked and looked up with expectations "Can I take you out for a coffee or something?" I took a few minutes to think over his offer and he was so tensed that he didn't make a single move, I'm not even sure he was breathing. Jesus, this boy…did I really have such an influence on him? And if I was realizing that, then why on earth was I continuing to mislead him. "Please? I hate myself for disappearing like this. I hate when people just leave without saying a word out and then again I did exactly that."

""You're still coming to the tutor center tomorrow, right?" he nodded eagerly and I rolled my eyes in despair while completely realizing that I was giving in to his innocent childish behavior "Let me change." he gave me a big smile and put his hands behind his back, patiently waiting for me, without making a step closer anymore, afraid that he'll cross a line, that I'm not sure I've set up there in the first place.

**Stefan's POV**

"You've gotta be kidding me" I laughed out loud as Elena was just finishing her enormous vanilla, strawberry, chocolate ice cream order in a surprisingly fast manner, which only made me realize how sweet she was. I was trying so hard to prevent the feelings inside me for her grow. I wasn't supposed to fall in love, not right now, when my whole life was going downwards and I was on the verge of leaving so soon. I didn't want to admit to myself that I might actually care for this girl more than I've ever did for anyone, who wasn't part of my family by now. She was just so…good and kind to me. That was when I haven't pissed her off like I did today, but even then I could see that playful flame in her eyes that was burning me inside out without me even touching her-she was mad, but she was feeling bad for me and that was simply pathetic. I didn't want a girl to feel like this towards me. I couldn't deny that she was seeing me as the boy I was and I think she was the first person who never judged me even though I had so many flaws. She was nice and understanding, she never questioned my actions, because it seems like she understood why I have done a certain thing and I was so grateful for that. I'm not sure I had the right words to express how glad I am there was someone out there who finally understood me. "You let her copy your whole history test? Are you in your right mind, Elena?"

"Well she was my friend back then." she blushed for a moment, trying to figure out how to cover her own stupidity.

"Jesus, that girl totally sucks."

"Stefan!" she protested "Don't talk like that."

"Why not? It's the truth. We have to call the things with their real names and I have a great one for Caroline Forbes that starts with a big ass B." she just shook her head with a big smile on her face.

"Look, you're right. But despite everything, I still can't hate her." she said and I caught some kind of sadness in her voice.

"I know" I said now seriously "And that's why I think you're a better person than she ever will be. It's easy to hate someone, but it takes a lot of strength not to, which is why she would never be worthy of your attention." she took the last bite of her ice cream and then slowly put the spoon down while I was desperately trying to avoid her look. I didn't mean to sound so serious, I just had those moments from time to time, especially when I was in her company. She always made everything so more important and significant.

"Thank you, Stefan." she said silently, slowly, because she wanted to make me understand how much she means it. I didn't let the words sink much though, because I didn't want to make the whole situation more awkward than it already was.

"And if she does that thing with the lockers one more time, I will make sure she understands that she can't mess with you anymore." I said seriously and she looked up at me surprised.

"Stefan, you don't have to deal with those stuff. They are my problem."

"Of course I have to" I said absolutely seriously "You are my friend." I spilled the last words out without even thinking about saying so in the first place. She looked at me surprised by my words for a moment, but then I saw the same kindness that was always so present in her eyes. She was grateful for me saying this out loud and even though we've been talking for such a short period I really did feel her close to myself. I was afraid how she would react to my words, but she surprisingly put her hand on mine and make me look up. "I'm sorry, Elena, I didn't mean to-"

"Stefan, shut up." she said fast, seriously, just as she was when she was scolding me for not giving her the right answer when we were studying together. "I'm very grateful that I have such a good friend in my life." she said after a few minutes of silence that almost caused me a heart attack. After she spoke up the words, I relaxed and nodded in appreciation with a big smile on my face. She hurried to pull her hand away, though and I nervously cleared my throat as I was trying to show her that this wasn't a big deal.

I ordered her more ice cream and even though she protested at first, she started eagerly destroying it the minute they've put it in front of her with an excusing glance which made me laugh out loud and she wondered what was so funny, while I couldn't figure a way out to tell her how sweet and innocently childish she looked, so I just lied that I saw the waitress trip over in the other corner and spill coffee on one of the customers. She laughed as well and it filled my heart with joy. I don't think I've ever felt like this with someone-just so happy, so free.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked after we've finally calmed a bit down after holding our tummies for ten minutes straight. I felt her tense a bit, she seemed somehow nervous, but I nodded with a smile, trying to make her understand that it was all fine "How come you are so smart but you're ruining stuff for yourself?"

I let a deep sight out. Usually, I avoided the subject, but with her I knew that there was no reason to do so, because she wouldn't judge me nor would she make fun of me. I knew she would simply listen and try to understand me, because she wasn't like the rest of the crowd, trying to make assumptions based on the way you look, talk or how rich your family is. Those stuff didn't matter to her-she made everything simple.

"A year and a half ago my mom got very sick. It was just about at the time we've started high school-a moment in which I felt annoyed from everything, lonely, unable to fit in or make the basketball team. I've lost all interest in anything connected to school, my brother he was working all the time or going out with his friends, having fun and leaving us behind. I was mad at the whole world, honestly-I still am sometimes. My mom" I sighed "She's the only person who ever took care of us since my dad died when Damon and I were kids-I remember him as a good person and I missed him as I was growing up, even though mom was trying very hard to make up for his absence. I love her and I am beyond grateful to her, but back then we fought all the time. She couldn't figure out a way to deal with me and my behavior-I was relentless, stubborn and indifferent to everything around me. My uncle Zach-he often called or came down here to visit us in his desperate attempts to make things right, but it didn't matter what he was trying to do, I just remained the same self-destructive person. One night, I came back home around midnight, only to find her collapsed on the kitchen floor with blood coming out of her nose. I got terrified-I was all alone, for a moment I couldn't really figure what to do." I stopped and took a sip from my coffee in desperate attempt to hide the desperation in my voice. I was avoiding her look, I didn't want to see her sad because of me and yet I could feel that she was when she put her hand on mine again and gripped it for a short moment as if she was trying to give me strength to keep going "Anyway" I cleared my throat and tried to find the strength inside me to continue "they took her to a hospital and after they made her some tests it turned out she has cancer, though it hasn't progressed and there was still a chance that everything would be alright. My uncle Zach took her in Boston with himself, so she could receive the right treatment and me and Damon remained here, all alone for more than half an year. Half an year in which both me and him lost ourselves completely, to the point where it was hard to go back. After we found out mother was sick, we both drowned in our despair, in all that guilt that was killing us for not being the good sons we were supposed to. We felt all alone, we barely talked to each other, occasionally we fought to the point where fists were involved and I later realized how absurd the whole situation was. Though the only reason we were doing all this was because we were afraid-afraid that mom will die and we'll be absolutely alone in this world."

"Stefan" she said apologetically, trying to find the words which were supposedly going to make me feel better

"It's fine" I interrupted her, freeing her from this torture to feel sympathy towards me "Anyway, mom came back-healthy and we couldn't have been more happier, though every now and then my brother and me feel on edge when we see her feeling too tired and sleepy. So the story ends good, right? And then why am I the way I am?"

"Because you're confused." she answered instead of me.

"That's probably a good answer" I nodded slowly "But it's not the truth. The truth is" I am scared." I sighed and looked away, because it was hard for me to admit such thing so I just continued talking, trying to suppress the lack of dignity in my voice "After everything started going down, I suddenly lost the desire to live, I was simply terrified. I found myself being unable to fall asleep, I often went to see if she was resting in her room or if she was in pain. I cared for my brother, I started looking out for him when he got late. They were my family and they were both in a bad place."

"But in the process you also ruined yourself." she interrupted me "You realize that, don't you?"

I shook my head and gently pulled my hand away from her while she furrowed her eyebrows. I didn't respond to that question, simply because I didn't think she was right and yet I wasn't willing to start arguing with her, but then again I couldn't figure what else to say, so she continued before I could try and come up with something.

"So you're now trying to make it up for everything?"

"Not exactly, if I have to be honest. I'm just trying to not get expelled and finish the school year so I can move away." she suddenly tensed and gave me a surprised look, which she didn't even try to hide.

"You're leaving?" she asked as if she hasn't heard my words at all. I nodded and she slowly leaned back on her seat, obviously thinking about something. I never thought I would provoke such emotions in her-she seemed truly stunned by my words and then somehow her expression softened as she has remembered something else. She gently put her hair behind her ear as if she wanted me to see her face better, to understand what she was thinking about, which was right now impossible as I was completely taken aback from her genuine beauty. "I'm sorry, Stefan." she finally let out.

"There's nothing to be sorry for." I hurried to assure her and she smiled lightly, but I could still sense that something between us broke the minute I mentioned my leaving. She never asked where I was going neither did she search for a reason behind it. It seemed as she has heard my words, accepted them and now she was trying to let that all be, which was fine by me, apart from the fact that she appeared distant until we separated. After we walked out of the diner, I offered to walk her home, but she said she was meeting her aunt Jenna at the Grill so we parted in a friendly manner and she reminded me to look over my notes again tonight. On my way home I couldn't stop thinking about her and why she seemed so taken aback. It's not like anything has actually ever happened between us. We might've said out loud that we were friends, but we didn't know each other from a long time and yet her mood changed so drastically, which made me feel guilty for yet another thing.

As I was passing by the basketball court I stopped and looked at some guys playing. The only desire I had right now was to join them, but I had to go home and take care of Damon, who has probably spent the day grumping on the kitchen couch as he was unable to really move around much because of his foot. Mom was night shift and as I remembered that I sighed tiredly at the thought of her working despite Damon and mine's persuasions to get away from work for at least another half an year after she was back from Boston. She didn't listen to us of course, she was stubborn just as me and Damon were. She didn't want to lie around the house and do nothing, she wanted to make sure we both had everything we needed, even thought Damon was working and paying half the bills, which yet again made me feel guilty for being the lazy bone, the one who's doing nothing and who's been expelled a couple of times, ruining his life in the worst way possible. I wasn't making it easy for them all, which is why I wanted to leave. My mom had to stop worrying about me and since Damon was back on track, not drinking recklessly as he did before I was convinced that things would get better once I move away. She was disappointed in me enough. I was sure that if I stay here, I would continue screwing everything up and I knew I would be worried about her, but at least I wouldn't piss her off all the time and cause her more sleepless nights than she already had.

As soon as I entered our house, I heard my brother's happy yell from the kitchen. He was acting like a total child, glad that there was finally someone to keep him company. While I was taking my shoes off with a smile on my face I realized that I'll miss his ruffled hair and his casual, but loving behavior, though deep inside I was still convinced that I was doing the right thing and I was too stubborn to even allow myself and think otherwise.

**Elena's POV**

The bell announced the end of my last class before the lunch break and I hurried to get out of the room so that Caroline Forbes and her precious pretty cheerleaders haven't found out something else to mock me about. Lucky for me, she was still staring at her test from last week and was about to go and argue with Mr. James about her grade, which made me smile lightly to myself as I was sure that now, without my help, she would be hitting rock bottom in matter of weeks, beating even Stefan, which was quite the accomplishment for her. Speaking of Stefan, he was extremely quiet lately on our lessons, though he still remain totally friendly towards me and we kept going out for an ice cream or a coffee after we were done, which were probably the best moments of my the day, hours that I was looking forward to from the moment I woke up. I never thought that I would find a friend so fast after my row with Caroline, and I surely didn't expect it to be a boy, but with Stefan, things weren't like with any of my friends before. He was careful, he always listened to me when I talked, unlike Caroline who never paid attention to my words, he was honest with me. When I was seeking advice, he told me exactly what he thought I should do, even though he was aware that it was the thing I was least up to making and I loved him for being that person. After we talked about his mother that afternoon, we never again spoke of him or his family. He always asked about me, about how I was doing and how was my day. He wasn't curious-he was just acting like a person, something that hasn't happened in my life for a long time.

As I found myself in the hallways I realized I was unconsciously looking out for him, trying to find him in the crowded space, but since I didn't I went to eat all by myself and joined my brother and his friends for the time being. As we were getting ready to get in for the next class, I realized that the reason I might not be seeing him is because they must have given him the Biology test back today and he was trying to avoid facing me. I furrowed my eyebrows as I was already figuring quite the speech in my head that I was about to give him this afternoon at the tutor center as I saw him opening the door to the yard on the other side of the corridor. He seemed determined and he was carrying a list in his hands. I hurried so I could catch up with him and by the time I was out he was slowly, patiently, with his typical lonely pace, walking away, even though I was sure he had more classes.

"Stefan!" I yelled an noticed a few people turning towards me, with confused glances as I was running in his direction. He stopped when he heard his name and once he noticed me a wide smile appeared on his face. He seemed genuinely happy, but I couldn't figure out if I was the reason for it or if there was something else going on. As I finally approached him, he waved the lists in front me.

"Elena!" he said happily "Look what I've got." it was an A- on his biology test. I looked up at him and only to notice his sincere smile still present on his face. I'm not sure I've ever seen him so genuinely happy, so relieved that he has managed to achieve something. Out of nowhere, I threw myself on his neck and hugged him tightly, surprised by my own behavior. What was going on with me? Why did I do this? And then I felt his warm embrace and his big palms gently scrubbing my back, I could feel his scent-he smelled like spring, like grass and that fresh but stubborn wind that had the ability to bend down young trees, his warm breath was tickling my ear and his ruffled, messy hair was playfully teasing my cheek. Surprisingly, I felt so safe in his embrace like there was nothing in the world that could ever do me harm. I don't know how long we remained like this, it might have been less than a minute, but it also felt like hours and I surely, didn't want it to end, even though everything inside me screamed-get away from this boy, he is a mess, he's wrong for you.

As we finally parted, I noticed how red his cheeks were-he was shy, confused. Our faces were so close to each other and I found myself staring his peaceful lonely green eyes, which were however pierced in my lips. For a minute or two it seemed as if time has stopped and then all of a sudden I felt his lips pressed on mine.

I closed my eyes as he was gently cupping my face with his warm hands. I felt the scar on his palm, the one that he got the night he helped me slightly tickling me and before I knew it, I was giving in as well, while my own hand found it's place somewhere at the back of his neck, touching carefully the end of his sandy ruffled hair.

**A/N: Since you were all so kind to me in your reviews, I decided to sit down and write some more these past few days. I need to remind you, though, that I've stated in the first chapter that this story will be _short. _Right now it actually has more chapters that I initially intended to write, but since I prefer to dig a bit deeper in what's happening, I shrugged my shoulders and decided to make it a bit longer.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Stefan's POV**

I felt her warm, small lips pressed on mine-she was giving in and it was the sweetest feeling in the world. For the first time in my life I felt like I was complete-I was genuinely happy. I felt her falling deeper and letting me lose myself in her. Yes, that's right-she wasn't losing herself in me, it was the opposite-I was ready to give my whole life just to remain like this forever. Her hand went at the back of my neck and gently caressed my hair, while I moved my hands up from her waist, without letting myself go any further. I have no idea what happened to us both, I just know that it was the most naïve and innocent thing to do. Ever since I felt her body pressed on mine, when she hugged me, I knew that I wouldn't be able to hold myself together. I was ready to lift her up in my lap, bring her to the bench next to us, and never let her go, but I didn't do that-instead I kissed her, even though my heart was about to burst out and God, I surely did not regret it. I won't regret it till I am alive on this earth and probably after that. She smelled so good, her soft hair was tickling me gently on the neck causing me to feel even more hot than I did already, irritating me to the point where I wanted to continue kissing her, without having to catch my breath. I finally let myself feel good about it all-from the minute we collided, I knew that there was no way back-I was falling in love, for the first time in my life. And I was both confused and calm at the same time, because I was sure that this was the best person I could've fallen for and no matter what happens from now on, she will remain the best choice my heart has ever made in the past seventeen years.

For the first time, I was sure that I wasn't making a mistake and it felt so good that I realized that my fingers trembling as I was slightly caressing her back. Her t-shirt was moving up , as if it was trying to help me give in her more and more, but I was careful, because I didn't want to scare her, so I tried to remain appropriate and moved my hands to her sides. It was hard for us both to catch our breath-I couldn't figure how long we were like this, but to me, personally, it seemed like years. I suddenly felt her pulling away from me-abruptly and I unwillingly opened my eyes, only so I could see her angry expression, which was certainly the last thing I expected from her. The moment I saw her eyes-that dark brown full of hatred and anger towards me, I knew that things were about to mess up. She pushed my chest with her small hands, which however caused me to lose my balance for a moment and make a step back. I gave her a questioning look, being unable to find the right words at all and then before I knew it she made a step towards me and slapped me on the face.

"You bastard!" she yelled as I was rubbing the place where she had just hit me "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Elena, I-"

"You can't do this, Stefan!" she yelled and I finally dared to look back at her. There were tears in her eyes-tears ready to fall down. She didn't care that she was crying and honestly-there wasn't anyone, who would see her-the bell has rang a long time ago, announcing the begging of the first class after the lunch break-we were all alone, drowning in the desperate silence that this godforsaken place was providing. "You are leaving for God's sakes! You can't kiss me then get on the road and forget this ever happened!"

"Elena, please-" I repeated desperately

"No!" she interrupted me yet again "That's bullshit! Whatever you say is just bullshit. Was this your plan from the beginning-to make me believe that you need help, seduce me and the fucking leave me?" I shook my head in desperate attempt to show her that I never had such intentions, but she seemed bend on letting out everything she was thinking right now "You are a coward, Stefan, that's the whole truth-just like the rest of the boys, you want to have fun and then bail on me. "

"I never had such intentions" I raised my voice now and she looked me in the eyes, but she didn't believe me. She tossed her hands in the air as if she was so fed up with me, that she had no words anymore and she tried to pass by me with her small, but fast pace. I gently touched her shoulder, trying to stop her, but she just jumped away, as if she was afraid I'll do something to her. Did she really believe I could do that? That I would hurt her? Me, who kicked the asses of those boys, only so I could make sure she gets home safe. Didn't she know better than to put me on the same level as them? I was so stunned by what has happened in those past few minutes, that I couldn't even comprehend a single sentence, while she obviously didn't have any difficulties expressing herself in that moment-she was pissed off at me.

"Stop it, Stefan." she said now silently "It's done. I don't want to see you, I'm surely not going to help you anymore, since it seems like you're pretty smart to deal with it all by yourself. I don't want you looking for me, do you understand?" she said it as a question, but I know she needed no answer, she just wanted to make herself extremely clear "Have a nice life." was her last sentence as she stormed away from me.

I watched her as she went away and didn't dare to make a single step, because I was thinking that I don't want this moment to end. I don't want to start walking back home, I don't want to forget how it felt when I had her pressed next to me, I didn't want my damn poor heart, which just got stomped over, to start beating normal again and yet it was already. I looked up, the sky was dark, it was about to rain, though the only thing surrounding me right now was complete silence, I couldn't even hear the teacher's voices from the classrooms, because they were on the other side of the school. There was a light breeze, which strengthened its influence every once in a while, gently moving my basketball jersey, which I was wearing as a consolation prize for the fact that I couldn't play right now. My look came back to place where she was standing right before me, just a minute ago. I wanted to be mad, to get angry at her, to tell her that she was wrong, but the only thing I did was smile lightly at myself, because deep down I knew she was completely right. I wasn't any different from any of the other guys-I was misleading her. It wasn't fair to give in somebody, give them hope that you'll be there for them and then just disappear. Even though my heart was bleeding, I fully realized that she was the best thing that ever happened to me despite the fact that she had just walked away from my life. It was the best journey I've had in my life, no matter how short-lived it was. I would still put it right next to the first time my dad took Damon and me to a football game or the moment when uncle Zach told me how proud he was with me after that summer I spent working with him in Boston.

I shook my head as I felt the first drops falling on my forehead, but I still didn't move. I picked up a cigarette out of my box, hidden in the back pocket of my shabby jeans. I didn't wore my new ones today. I was saving them for Friday, when I planned to ask Elena out after our lessons. Out for more than just an ice cream-out for a dinner. My brother gave me half the money I was paid for working at his place, he even lent me one of his shirts when he understood that I had the intentions of going out with a girl. I've ironed it last night and now it was hanging on my wardrobe door-a blue plaid shirt. Elena's favorite color. Now I was terrified at the thought of coming home and seeing it there when I knew I wouldn't get the chance to put it on. I was sad, honestly. I wasn't devastated, or at least I liked to think so, but I was completely and utterly shattered by sadness. I put the cigarette in my mouth, but didn't light it on right there. In a few minutes, when the rain became heavier the cigarette soaked and I hid it back in my pocket. If anyone has caught me smoking here, I would probably be out of the school in matter of hours. Not that it mattered anymore, not that it has ever mattered in the first place.

I looked up at the sky and closed my eyes as the drops were covering my whole face and then I kneeled down and bended my head. The only thing I was able to listen to was the sound of the rain falling down, colliding with the ground, making a mess of the earth, screwing up everything around me by mudding it, turning the dust into a wet soil of nothingness.

I was getting cold, so I stood up and headed to the entrance. I was passing by the empty hallways and rows of lockers, putting a trace of wet steps behind me. I was leaving a path for somebody to find me and yet I knew that the only person I was willing to allow and do so, would never even consider it. Just as I was about to pass by her locker, I noticed something and stopped abruptly. There was water coming out of it. Caroline has done her the trick, with flooding everything Elena had in there, again. I looked up at the clock hanging on the opposite wall, only to realize that I have about half an hour until the class is over and this hallway becomes the most crowded place in the school. Half an hour before she would be humiliated for yet another time. I took off my backpack and get on trying to unlock it, which wasn't hard since Caroline was here before me and didn't even decide to close it properly. I took all her stuff out then cleaned the space with some paper from the male bathroom. I couldn't really fix her books, which were soaking but I opened them up and put them back in, so they could at least start drying. I was sure that at least now there wouldn't be a surprise for her when she comes to look out for her stuff and nobody would find out what that evil cheerleader has done. People like her were getting me out of my skin.

I thought a bit about leaving Elena a note, but decided that it would be too selfish. I closed her locker and stood for a few minutes, wondering about whether to go with the idea that has just popped up in my mind.

I decided to leave my bag on the floor. I still had less than ten minutes to do something good for her today, because she surely deserved it.

**Damon's POV**

I heard the front door open and slightly smiled to myself-Stefan was coming home. I distinguished the sound of him putting his shoes off in the corridor, slowly as if he wasn't eager to come in at all. Mom was at work all day and he knew I would be the only one in the house. Lately, ever since I dropped the stupid package on my feet, he's been there for me all the time. It almost felt as if we were kids again-we were joking around, laughing and playfully punching each other in the arms. I loved seeing him smile, being energetic and I hated myself for needing his help right now as I knew that he could spent his hours outside with Elena and enjoy himself with her. It turned out that my idea about making him go to the tutor center was the best thing that I've ever done for him in the past year or so. I noticed how bright his face was every time he came back home after a lesson with her and even though he was denying that they were anything more than friends I knew, by the look in his eyes- he was falling in love. And that honestly was the sweetest thing that I have ever seen happen before me. It was so innocent and childishly beautiful that I found myself rooting for them from the moment I saw them sitting together on that table in the tutor center. She was such a lovely girl-she was smart, honest, a bit shy, just like him. But above all-I think she understood him and my brother surely needed a person like this in his life right now, because neither me, nor mother were able to fully comprehend whatever was going on in this blond head of his. There were moments he wouldn't speak a word out, others when he was away all the time, avoiding coming home, evenings when I caught him smoking in his room, trying to figure out how to write a homework and countless other times when he was just not part of this world, which truly scared me. Not that he hasn't been like this since he was a kid, but now it was different. In the moments when he was supposed to be finding himself, figuring what to do with his future, he was doing the exact opposite-hitting rock bottom and it's not that I felt sorry for him-yes, that as well, but I was above all-worried. Mom, well…I'm not sure she could figure out what was going on with him, because she wasn't here those months when we were losing ourselves while she was in Boston, treating her disease. As every parent she was trying to protect him, to do what's best for him so it was completely logical to her to treat him the way she did right now-he deserved her stern behavior or at least that's what she thought.

"Hey, brother" I yelled, thinking that he was still undressing himself when he was actually entering the kitchen. He didn't make any attempt to answer me though, his clothes were let and he was walking towards the fridge with his head bend down. "Stefan?" I asked and he finally looked up at me. I noticed that the end of his fingers were..orange? As if he has painted something, but decided not to push that matter right now, since he seemed as if he was about to collapse in matter of minutes. His look was screaming-don't talk to me right now and he pulled a beer out of the fridge. I pushed myself up and sat on the couch while he was drinking eagerly from the bottle "Stefan! What's going on? Weren't you supposed to be still at school?" I looked up at the clock and realized it was quite early. He should've had a lesson with Elena.

"I'm not going to the tutor center anymore." he said calmly and slowly came by my side, with the beer in his hand. He pulled up a chair right before me and sat down, with his wet clothes. It was as if that didn't bother him at all.

"What? Why?" I asked surprised by his words, but grateful that he has decided to talk, which however didn't last long, because he remained silent again and buried his hands in his hair "Is it Elena? Did you get into a fight?"

He looked up-his green eyes were full of tears and it made my heart clench. For about ten minutes we just stood like this, him silently finishing his beer and me looking at him. He didn't need to tell me anything-obviously things between them have screwed up and now he was hurt. I silently cursed myself for being happy just minutes ago with my decision to meet them. I didn't need to know the whole story, it was enough to look at him-he was a broken boy, right in this moment and I could see how he wanted to scream and toss stuff and be angry at the whole world, but he wouldn't do so, because he was calmly and silently weeping inside and that was slowly ruining him. I stood up, and staggered, because I couldn't really walk normally yet. As he saw my attempt, he caught my hand and prevented me from losing his balance. He threw his arm on my shoulder and thought that I would want to move around, since I haven't been up the whole day, but I stopped and he gave me a questioning look. When I pulled him into a hug, he didn't try to get away as usually, he remained there as I was gently rubbing his back, but he didn't embrace me right back either.

"I'm sorry, Stefan." I said silently as I was finally letting him go.

"It's fine. It's for the better anyway." he helped me walk around a bit and then, when I got tired I sat back on the table while he went to make some coffee and then change his clothes. There was nothing but silence surrounding us and I surely didn't want to interrupt it, because I knew he needs some time just to process whatever has happened. I didn't dare ask him what exactly happened, I didn't like pressuring him.

"You know" he started after a while with a serious voice as he climbed up on the kitchen plot where mom usually cooked, just as when we were kids "When I leave..you're gonna take care of mom for me, right?"

"Absolutely" I tried to assure him with a light smile. He bowed his head down again, while holding his cup, looking at the coffee and obviously thinking about stuff. When I saw him like this, so lost in his own mind, I often worried that he's thinking things he shouldn't be. Like that the reason mom got sick was because of him, because he was a bad son, causing her troubles. Or that he was a burden to us, an unnecessary weight on our backs. "Stefan." I said his name calmly, more as a plead as of anything else "I know I told you that I don't approve of you leaving" a few days back we had a big fight about this and I kept yelling at him about how this is probably the stupidest thing he's ever done, while he remained wisely silent and only nodded his head every time I accused him of being unreasonable. He was hurt from my words, for the way I was so desperately trying to keep him here, by my side, but he was shrugging his shoulders and letting it be, because I knew that he had this bigger reason to do it all and even though I wasn't sure what it was exactly, I could see it, in his eyes-he was convinced that he was doing the right thing. He wasn't doubting himself and I should've respected that, not yell at him. "But if that's what you really want" our stares met "Then I'm perfectly okay with it."

"Thanks, brother." he said silently, stood up and gave me the coffee he has prepared for me. I nodded thankfully as he sat beside me and went through the channels to find the game that I was supposed to watch alone, because he should've been outside with Elena. Instead, now he was right next to me and I tried to cheer him up, but he seemed just so tired that I felt guilty for even making him respond to me. In fifteen minutes he was asleep and I gently pushed him down so he could lie down on the couch and smiled to sadly to myself. Even though, I was so mad at him every now and then, he was a person I could lean on, every time I needed to. I knew he would never let me fall.

**Elena's POV**

I was the last one to leave the room since I had too much books to carry and Mrs. Williams decided that it was time to talk with me about college and my future plans, which was probably the worst moment she could've done that as I was still so affected by what has happened with Stefan and couldn't think of anything, but his lips pressed in mine and the sad green look he has given me once I've pushed him away. I'm not sure I would forget this anytime soon, simply because it hurt him as much as it hurt me. It's not that I'm indifferent to him. Every slight touch we had until now, every caring look he has given me, every time he has embraced my bare shoulders with his jacket in the evenings before he's send me home-those were all stuff I would remember before I fall asleep. I really cared for him, more than I've ever cared for a friend in my entire existence. And even though I've called him a coward, the truth is that I am one. I was scared, I didn't want to get involved with someone in this way, I didn't want to fall in love, because I was afraid I would get hurt.

My thoughts were interrupted by the noise coming from the hallway. As soon as I got out, I saw a bunch of cheerleaders surrounding a crying Caroline in the corner while a few from the jocks were staring at the lockers, obviously trying to figure out something. Everyone around me were whispering, though I couldn't quite distinguish the words, until I finally passed behind the boys from the football team and stopped abruptly.

There was a big orange sign on the lockers saying _Caroline Forbes sucks_.

For a moment all I wanted to do was jump up and scream how this bitch deserves it and how much I want to hug the person who's done that. I noticed her already talking to the principle and swearing how she would find that sick bastard who did it and make sure they expel them as well as a bunch of other pretty extreme swears concerning them, before she was prevented from going on further and warned to watch her language. I hid in the corner next to my own locker and smiled as I opened it up, because honestly-I was happy. For once there was justice in this world and I couldn't be more grateful. That was until, I realized that my locker's been flooded again. I furrowed my eyebrows as I saw the open wet notebooks, but the dry shelves inside. Someone's been here, I thought.

And then it hit me.

I turned around, afraid to look back at the big orange letters, because I didn't want to confirm my suspicions. I was with my eyes closed, my head bowed down-I didn't want to look up, so I waited patiently until the bell rang and people started moving away, which wasn't for another minute or so. Once I couldn't hear anyone's steps anymore, I dared to get another look at it. I've been seeing his handwriting for quite some time now and I remember even joking around with him for the way he wrote some letters like he was still in kindergarten, in that innocent childish way as if words don't carry any message at all, as if they are just a way of unnecessary communicating. I sighed and I felt getting both angry and grateful at him and I still wonder how that's possible. He was the one who cleared my locker and then wrote the sign on the wall.

That stupid fucking idiot. I buried my hands in my hair helplessly and realized that there are tears in my eyes, which were trying to find their way out for the second time today, because of the same reason, because of the same person. I wanted to curse and scream and yell and just say out loud how stupid the boy I was actually willing to admit I'm falling for, was. I was desperate and yet I managed to get myself, together, gather my wet notebooks, which I was sure would put on the window in my room so they could dry, and pray that my mom won't see them and ask what has happened again, cleaned my tears with the back of my hand and clenched my jaw, because I was desperately trying to prevent myself from crying. I wanted to appear strong as I took off to his house, even though I had two more classes and lessons at the tutor center.

I have no idea how much it took me to get there. I had so much going on in my mind that I wasn't really watching where I was going. All I could think of was that I want to yell at him and be mad at him for the fact that he was the stupidest person I've ever known and yet deep down, I felt so much gratitude towards him, which I was stubbornly trying to deny. I practically ran to the door as soon as I got into their front yard and started knocking on the door with all the strength I had. I was about to probably open it with my harsh slams until finally someone opened it. As soon as I saw his ruffled sandy hair I just stopped and my hands fell beside my sides lifelessly, as if I've lost all desire to do anything else, as if I had no strength anymore. He looked at me surprised, confused. His eyes appeared sleepy, a bit watery even, as if he was trying very hard not to cry and as usual the big circles under his them were present, suggesting that he hasn't slept really good in days probably. I dropped my bag on the ground and the slight thud it made disturbed the silence between us. He took a step outside and carefully shut the door behind him since he understood, from my look that I definitely had no intentions of going inside.

"Elena" he said my name with so much weight as if by speaking it out loud he was learning how to breathe again. He let a deep sigh out, he seemed worried as he made the realization that I was slightly trembling.

I suddenly felt so angry, so mad at him, just as I've figured out that he was the one to write the sign.

"You idiot!" I pushed him on the chest and he made a step back "You stupid stupid idiot!" my hands clenched into fists and I started punching him with all the strength I had while he leaned on the side of the house, but didn't move in any way, didn't even try to stop me "Why on earth did you do this? Don't you understand?"

"Elena." he said it as a plead now, he didn't want to intervene and catch me. It was almost as if he wanted me to make him feel even more pain that he had already. I noticed him closing his eyes, trying to deal with the pain I was causing him, a pain I was sure, wasn't physical.

"You fool! Now they'll expel you! Why on earth did you do this?" I continued bashing on him as I felt the tears coming down my face again. He finally opened his green ocean of sadness and caught my wrists.

"Elena" he said my name for the third time and for a moment we started at each other intensely. He was trying to calm me down with just one look, he was trying to make me understand "It's fine." he gave me a sad smile "It's all fine." he gently put his hand at the back of my head and pulled me in for a hug. For a few minutes the only thing I could hear was the beating of his heart and then I silently continued crying in his arms, while he stroke me and put a small, gently kiss on the top of my head.

"I'm so sorry." I said still in his embrace "I didn't mean anything I said today, Stefan. You're not a coward…I just" I was suddenly unable to find the right words, but he didn't interrupted me, he waited until he realized that I probably won't continue, simply because it was impossible for me to do so.

"I know, Elena." he didn't say it just like that. He said it, because he meant it. He didn't need my explanations, he was perfectly capable of understanding how I felt, because he felt the same way and the stupid me only realized that right now. I was the selfish one today, thinking that he was just another boy, who wants to use me. Was I so blind that I missed the hurtful look in his eyes only hours ago? He was in pain as well, he was suffering. And him feeling all those confusing emotions, that I was also experiencing, was even more self destructive, because he knew he would be leaving, he knew he would have to take off and never look back. "I understand" he added and when I finally looked up, I saw his slight sad smile trying to comfort me as usually. Because that's what Stefan always did-trying to protect and help the people in his life.

He found my hand and intervened his fingers with mine, then smiled again and brushed the tears on my cheek with his thumb, after placing another one of his small gently kisses, full of so much affection, on my forehead. He was dressed in one of those plaid blue shirts, which was a bit too big for him, but that somehow made him appear even better, as if he was older, somehow wiser, as if he has been through too much in his life and honestly, that wasn't far from the truth, since I was already aware of some of the most desperate things he had to go through. He nodded towards the alley.

"Do you want take a walk with me?" he asked with silently, because he wanted me to be the only person, who would hear his words, not that there was anyone near us. I smiled and tightened my grip in response and we walked slowly down the street with my head leaning on his shoulder.

I realized that I was pretty much willing to go anywhere with him right now and I would never even doubt that determination I felt, because no matter how many decisions we make out of fear, they remain insignificant whist the ones provoked from pure courage, find their special place inside _our hearts and mark our souls, in ways hard to be fully understand_, but important nonetheless as they set the first step towards great adventures.

And right now, for once, I am not afraid.

**A/N: Hm..Elena has some anger issues that she needs to take care of.****Anyway, I hope you guys do not hate me after this chapter. Thank you all for reading and reviewing. **


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